Daily News January 6

Today is Wednesday, January 6, 2010. It is the sixth day of the year with 359 to go.

Today’s History

In 1838, the telegraph was successfully demonstrated in New Jersey.
In 1912, New Mexico became the 47th state.

Today’s News

Someone Needs an Ass-Whooping
An 11-year old Florida girl is undergoing a psychiatric evaluation after she tried to set her mother on fire. The girl and her 15 year old boyfriend tried to kill her mother by pouring gasoline on the floor and bed while the mother slept. Once the bedroom was aflame, the young couple fled the scene in the mother’s car. Luckily, the smoke alarm went off and she was able to escape without serious injury. The girl eventually went back to the scene of the crime, and the police found the boy at his friend’s house. Both were taken into custody. The mother said everything started because she had questioned her daughter about taking cigarettes.

She don’t need a psych eval. She needs her ass whooped. I need to understand why an 11 year old has a boyfriend in the first place. She’s still in elementary and he’s in high school. I was just talking to somebody about today’s bad ass kids, but the parents are the ones who raised them to be this way. A little less talky and a little more whoop that ass and there wouldn’t be all these problems. I also notice they don’t mention a father; that’s half the problem right there.

A Different Kind of Baby Mama Drama
A Vermont family court has decided that the birth mother of a 7 year old girl must give up custody to her former lesbian partner. The two women were in a relationship when they decided to have a baby by artificial insemination. The couple broke up a year after the baby was born. One woman renounced homosexuality and became an evangelical Christian, and moved back to her home in Virginia. The birth mother stayed a lesbian, and lived with the child in Vermont. Since the court decided that the newly non-lesbian woman should have primary custody, the birth mother took the child and disappeared. She has had no contact with her attorneys since the ruling. The court stated they tried the case as if they would any heterosexual custody battle. The birth mother tried to appeal to the Supreme Court, but the Court decided not to hear the case.

I hate how these articles don’t exactly tell you everything. Why did they give custody to the non-birth mother? Was she somehow a better mother than the birth mother? Or did they give custody to her because she’s suddenly not gay anymore and now is a Christian? I can’t really say what should happen because I don’t know why the judge picked one over the other. Since the girl is only 7, they don’t really seek her opinion on where she would like to go, but I wonder who she had been living with mostly. Let this be a lesson to people. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight, we all got the same crappy relationship problems. Don’t have kids with someone that probably isn’t going to be long term. If you’re gay you have to be particularly careful because the law is just not on your side. In most states, you can’t even get married. If you end up having a kid, what happens to the kid after it’s over?

Here We Go Again
Seems like we didn’t learn our lesson in 2009 about the wacky 911 calls. A moronic Florida man is the first of 2010 to make a bizarre 911 call. The man called 911 to report that he had been beaten and shot. He said that his nose was broken and that he was bleeding from the ears. When police arrived, they discovered that he had not been attacked at all, but merely wanted a ride to another bar. Naturally, officers refused to assist and the man kicked the police officer in the knees. He had to be Tasered into submission before they could arrest him.

So usually you call a taxi when you need a ride to a bar. Ever hear of phone-a-friend? I don’t think the police department provides hack services, but this guy did luck out. He got a free ride all right: to jail.

Mobile Meth Market
A gas station attendant in Tennessee called police after he noticed that a car had been sitting at one of the gas pumps for more than an hour. When the attendant went to check on the car, he noticed that the driver was asleep in the driver’s seat. Police arrived on the scene to find the man was cooking meth in the backseat. Meth-cooking is extremely volatile and has been known to cause major explosions. Needless to say, the man was arrested and a HAZMAT team dismantled the moving meth lab.

Wow, what a genius. Let’s cook a highly explosive substance at a gas station and hope for the best. Do people even think sometimes? What a way to ring in the New Year.

Jailhouse New Year’s
A Sicilian man decided that the only way to ring in the New Year’s was to do it in style: by being in jail. He showed up at a police station in Rome and requested to be arrested because he would rather be in jail than with his family when the clock struck 12. He was told that since he had not committed a crime, the police would not be able to honour his request. The man then went to a candy shop next door, stole several pieces of candy and some chewing gum, after threatening the owner with a box cutter. The owner called police and the man waited patiently for police to arrest him for robbery.

If it was that serious, why didn’t he just leave? He could have went to a friend’s house or just sat in his car some place until his relatives left. I don’t understand why he felt the need to go to such extremes.

Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems
Florida police believe that a man who won $30 million in the lottery may have been killed for his money. The man, who had previously lived with his mother, won the money several years ago and ever since, people had been hitting him up for money. His mother describes him as very generous and that he just didn’t know how to say no. He bought a million dollar home, a Nissan Altima and a Rolex from a pawn shop. He was planning to start a foundation for the poor. He later shacked up with some woman who became his financial adviser. This woman bought the million dollar home from him, then made a video in which the man stated that he wanted to lay low because people wouldn’t leave him alone. The woman claims she made the video because she was scared of what might happen. Police are currently investigating the woman. The man’s mother hopes that he is gone to some private island, but police think he may have been killed.

They say more money, more problems. I watched a special once on lottery winners and it showed that most people who win the lottery wind up even more broke than they were before they won the money. A few people committed suicide because they couldn’t stand the constant pressure from other people, begging for money. A lot of them also end up being drug addicts and drunks. I already know that money would make me much worse, and that’s probably why God didn’t make me rich in the first place.

Can’t Say Bomb On An Airplane
A German man and his family were not allowed to board a flight after he continually joked about having explosives in his underwear. He was trying to make jokes about the Nigerian terrorist that tried to bomb a plane in Detroit, but instead, he got himself arrested and fined. Airline personnel removed the man and his family from the line when he wouldn’t stop with the jokes. German authorities arrested him but found no traces of any explosive material. The airline would not allow the family to catch a later flight and has also stated they will not reimburse the family for the vacation they booked. They will also receive several thousand dollars in fines to cover the cost of the investigation.

Way to go, jackass. Apparently, they had booked an expensive vacation package to Egypt. If I had been the wife, I would have kicked him in the balls and told the airline that we weren’t together anymore.

Today’s Thought

Very few men are wise by their own counsel; or learned by their own teaching. For he that was only taught by himself, had a fool to his master. ~Ben Johnson