Daily News January 26

Today is Tuesday, January 26, 2010. It is the 26th day of the year with 339 to go.

Today’s History

In 1837, Michigan became the 26th state.
In 2009, Nadya “Octomom” Suleyman gave birth to the world’s longest surviving set of octuplets.

Today’s News

Brain in a Bag
A New Mexico family is suing a funeral home, claiming their mother’s brain was sent home along with the rest of her personal effects. The family says it smelled a foul odour coming from the box which arrived from the funeral home after their mother’s burial. When they opened the box, they found some of her belongings along with the brain. The funeral home claims they are not the ones responsible for the mishap. The woman had died in a car crash in Utah back in September. Whoever handled the body in Utah is responsible, says the New Mexico funeral parlour.

Wow. New Mexico or Utah, does it really matter? How can you accidentally put a human brain in a box along with a wallet, car keys, jewellery, and other items you might find on the body of an accident victim? Who just picks up a soggy piece of grey matter throw it into a box? That is gross. I don’t think it was an accident; I think it was someone being nasty.

Joke’s On You!
A Transportation Security Officer has been fired after he decided to play a practical joke on a college student returning to school after the holidays. The girl’s bags had just gone through the X-ray when the TSO told her that he had to check her bags. After going through her laptop case, he pulled out a small baggie with white powder in it and demanded to know where she got the powder from. The passenger had never seen the baggie before and suddenly wondered if someone had tampered with her bag, either a drug dealer or a terrorist. The girl began crying, pleading that she did not know how the baggie got into her luggage. Then the TSO started laughing, claiming that the bag was his. He told her that he was helping to train co-workers on how to detect contraband. The passenger reported him and TSA states the employee has been disciplined and is no longer employed with the Agency.

Hah! What would you do if they opened up your bag because they found something that you honestly did not put in your bag? We used to get that line all the time, “I have no idea how that got in there,” or “this isn’t even my bag,” but in this case, it was true for her. She probably thought she was about to get waterboarded. Poor thing.


Now That’s Customer Service
Hate getting into a cold bed? Worried that an electric blanket might catch fire? Well, why don’t you hire a human bed warmer to put some heat in those sheets before you get in? Holiday Inn Hotels in Great Britain are offering such a service for anybody who is interested. If you want your bed to be warmed up, the hotel chain will have an employee lay in your bed to warm it up. The employee will be fully dressed in some kind of suit that covers him head to foot, but it was not immediately known if the employee would be required to shower first.

Wow, well, that is certainly bizarre. I’m not sure I’d want some random stranger laying in the bed directly before I got into it. I also don’t like how they don’t know whether the employee would be required to shower first. Who would want to get in bed behind some hot and funky? What if the employee “behaves improperly” in the bed—you know what I mean…. Uhm, I’ll pass, but thanks for the offer.

Ass of 2010
Two high school seniors were suspended after their silly prank cost the school several hundred dollars. The class of 2010 was grouped together for a photo with several students wearing t-shirts that would have spelled out CLASS OF 2010. When the picture was about to taken, the students wearing the shirts “C” and “L” disappeared, leaving behind “Ass of 2010.” Nobody realized what happened until after the photos were ordered. The students wearing the shirts that spelled CLASS were all fined and “C” and “L” were suspended. The money they were fined was used to re-touch the photos.

That’s pretty hilarious. They’re high school seniors. What do you expect?

Video Games Don’t Kill People
An Italian man is recovering in hospital after his son stabbed him in the neck with a 15 inch kitchen knife. The two had been arguing over a Playstation game. Father and son were playing a game of FIFA 2009, a soccer game, when the father offered his son friendly advice on how to improve the boy’s game. The son apparently took exception to the advice and began an altercation with his father. Seeing how his son was acting, the father turned the game off and the kid, who is 16, ran into the kitchen, got a knife and stabbed his father in the neck. Then the kid took the knife back to the kitchen, cleaned it and put it out to dry, all while his mother was standing there, staring at him as if he had gone mad. When the police came to arrest him, he did not resist. The game was a present for his 16th birthday just a few days before. His mother said he was obsessed, and they had gotten the soccer game because they didn’t want him to have violent games.

Apparently he doesn’t need any video games if he’s getting that worked up over a computerized soccer match. If it’s that serious over FIFA, imagine what a lunatic he’d turn out to be if they let him play Grand Theft.

Today’s Thought

As long as men are free to ask what they must, free to say what they think, free to think what they will, freedom can never be lost, and science can never regress. ~J. Robert Oppenheimer