Today is October 16, 2009. It is the 289th day of the year with 76 to go.
Today's History
In 1793, during the French Revolution, Marie Antoinette, Queen of France, was beheaded.
In 1859, racial abolitionist John Brown initiated the raid on Harper's Ferry.
Today's News
Red Light, Green Light
A brothel in Berlin is offering discounts for customers who think about the environment. If you take public transportation or ride a bicycle to the whorehouse, then you can get a 5 euro discount (about $7.50) off your service! The brothel owner said they are rewarding these customers because times are hard and they are seeing a drop off of business because of the economy. Nobody is travelling for business anymore and the locals don't come around as often. For those who are saving money with public transportation, they can also save money with their favourite hooker. And in case you didn't know, prostitution is legal in Berlin.
I guess hoes want to go green too! Save the earth. Ride a hoe.
No Wedding Bells
A Louisiana justice of the peace refused to issue a marriage license for an interracial couple because he said he was worried about the children the couple might have in the future. He said it was his experience that interracial marriages do not last long and if they had any children, they would suffer. He insists that he is not a racist, but after having this discussion with white and black people, he has come to the conclusion that mixed children do not fit in well with black society and neither do they fit in well with white society. The couple will be filing a discrimination suit.
Uhm, is it 1963? I coulda swore it was 2009, but apparently we either went back in time or this is South Africa somewhere during the apartheid. Some of us, white and black, feel the sting of racism more than others do. Oh, wait, I forgot, he said he wasn't racist. Whatever. Some of us live this daily, and others either go through life blindly or maybe it truly has never happened to them. When you see stuff like this, you can hardly believe it, but then again, it almost doesn't surprise you. I'm just wondering how he thought he could actually get away with this unnoticed. You do know it's against the law to deny a marriage license based on colour, right? Just in case you didn't.
North Carolina, Anybody?
North Carolina could lose its appeal, if it ever had any, as a tourist attraction on October 29 after the state releases 20 very dangerous criminals based on an antiquated law. Some of the criminals were convicted of murder, rape and sexual assault of minors but they will be released because a law states that a life sentence is defined as 80 years. Most of these criminals have been denied parole repeatedly, but some earned good conduct credits which reduces the number of years they would have to spend in prison. One man raped a 15 year old girl after he had escaped from prison back in the 70s. Another woman murdered a state trooper while robbing a bank. There are 20 to be released and all but ONE was convicted of murder and/or rape. Law enforcement officials say that they hope these criminals have been rehabilitated but he doubts it, which is why they were given life sentences in the first place--because there is no hope for people like them. The state is still looking at a legal recourse, but so far, they have found nothing.
Well, I guess I won't be visiting any of the southern states for awhile. Just because they are in prison in North Carolina, don't mean they are going to stay there. Most of them will try to jump ship as soon as possible because they know that law enforcement will be keeping an eye on them. This is quite disturbing and once again our "humane" justice system is failing. I'm all for equal rights and whatever, but this is kind of ridiculous. Even if the law says eighty years, none of these people have been in jail for eighty years. If they had, they would all be dead. I can't see how their "good conduct" credits count for them. If they want to be the letter of the law, then call me back at the end of eighty years.
Stepfather, and Not the Movie Either
A Florida man is under arrest on attempted murder charges after he shot his step-daughter's boyfriend when caught the two of them having sex. The step-father went to the daughter's room and saw her and the boyfriend having sex. Instead of confronting them right then and there, he closed the door and went back down stairs to get a .45. He came back upstairs, opened the door and started blazing. The boy was screaming, don't shoot, don't shoot, but the father shot him 4 times in the leg and hip while he was struggling to put his clothes back on. The kid managed to get out of the house and down the street where a neighbour called the police. When the father went to court, it was discovered that he also had assault and weapons charges in St. Croix, where he is from.
Just so you know, it is perfectly legal for a 16 year old to have sex with an 18 year old in the state of Florida, however, it may not be legal IN YOUR PARENTS' HOME! Kids have sex, yeah, I know but seriously, at your house when your parents are home? Not a smart move. I feel sorry for everybody involved. Dumb girl for getting her boyfriend shot, dumb boy for getting shot and stupid daddy for overreacting. He should have just beat the kid up and threw him out the front door or something, but shooting him MULTIPLE TIMES, well, I hope you enjoy your 25 to life in prison. The boy will be crippled for life. The girl will be humiliated and the daddy is in jail. Have a nice life.
Celebrity News
TLC will sue John Gosselin for breach of contract, claiming that he makes unauthorised public disclosures about the show and appears on other shows for money when he is an exclusive employee of TLC. Even though he was fired from the show, he still made many appearances before he was fired. Yes, this public abortion is still on-going. TLC announced recently that Jon and Kate Plus Eight and any other version of the show, such as Kate Plus Eight will go off the air at the end of the month because Jon suddenly had an epiphany and thinks the show is bad for his children and the family. *rolls eyes* But apparently, he didn't think snatching over $200,000 out of the family bank account was harmful for the children. Whateves. The judge made him give back most of the money after Kate went crying to national television that she can't pay her bills. Now she will have to actually work like the rest of America to take care of the kids she claimed were crying because the camera crews were gone. Since daycare is outrageous these days, maybe she can ask the Octo-Mom to take care of them, since she obviously has some experience at exploiting multiple children.
For those of you who managed to be blissfully unaware of the Balloon Boy fiasco yesterday, it has been discovered that it was probably just a big publicity stunt. The family is freakish about science and they are always inventing things and doing crazy scientific experiments. The built some kind of hot air balloon that they will use to investigate extraterrestrials but it was alleged that the six year old unleashed the balloon that was tied to the house and jumped in it so he could go on his very own hot air balloon ride. His older brother claimed that he saw the younger one get in the balloon and this sparked a state wide search of flight paths and crop circles to look for the little brat. It turned out, he was hiding in the attic because "his father yelled at him." When interviewed, the boy blurted out that it was "apart of the show." Interviewers tried to further question him, but he clammed up and the daddy became "outraged" that such questions were even being asked. The family appeared on the show Wife Swap some time ago, and perhaps they are just media-hungry that they would pretend that their kid was floating away a mile above the earth. I bet if you slap their asses with some fines for the misuse of emergency personnel and services, they would keep all that scientific experimentation crap to themselves. They even had the national guard fly Blackhawks across farm land to look for him. Some people will do anything.
Today's Thought
What is time? The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries--these are but arbitrary and outward signs, the measure of Time, not Time itself. Time is the Life of the soul. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Daily News October 15
Today is October 15. It is the 288th day of the year with 77 to go.
Today's History
In 1917, Dutch dancer Mata Hari was executed for spying for the Germans.
In 2003, 11 people were killed when the State Island Ferry crashed into a maintenance pier.
Today's News
In It To Win It
An Ohio woman has been arrested after causing a riot at a Burlington Coat Factory. The woman arrived at the store in a chauffeur driven stretch Hummer and announced that she had just won the lottery and she would pay for everybody's purchases up to $500. People began shopping in earnest, even calling relatives who were not in the store to come up to the store so they too could take part in this woman's charity. Soon at least 500 people were standing in line to get their purchases and another 1000 people were standing outside waiting to get in. She claimed she had just won $1.5 million and wanted to share it with everybody. After all the stuff was rung up, the woman said she was going to the bank to get some money. She came back empty-handed. Another woman came up to her and said, "I don't really need new clothes, I need help with my rent." So the lottery winner wrote her a check in the amount of the rent. Then the woman randomly disappeared. It was about an hour before the employees at Burlington Coat Factory realised the woman was gone and she hadn't paid for anything. That's when the customers began to riot screaming that they still wanted their free stuff. They began snatching at clothes and running out of the store. The police had to intervene and shut the store down to get everybody to calm down. The police would have never found the woman if she hadn't skipped out on the $900 bill she owed the Hummer driver; he turned her into the police.
She lucky she was in Ohio and not Baltimore; she would have been shot. That's crazy. I mean, I know crazy stuff like this could happen, but people are morons for even believing her, especially the workers at the store. In these difficult economic times, who just walks into a store and announces they gonna pay for everything? I would have been like, "We'll certainly honour your request if you wouldn't mind putting up a hefty retainer." So that means the clerks were over there scanning all this stuff and letting people leave without getting paid for anything. Then when she said, "I'm going to the bank real quick," that should have been a sign. Why did you come in here and you don't even have the money with you? The woman has been arrested on several charges, but if she has a good lawyer (or the money to pay for a good lawyer) he should be able to get her off. The woman can come in there and say anything she wants, as long as it isn't terrorist related, but she's not responsible for the people losing their minds and stealing stuff. She never said, "Hey, everybody, steal anything you want," and even if she did, she still isn't responsible. She didn't take anything except the free Hummer ride.
More Fish and Relationship Problems
A man who stabbed a woman's fish during a breakup has been given probation. An Oregan man shared an apartment with his girlfriend, but they decided to break up after he assaulted her. She asked him to leave but he returned a few hours later and was laying in the bed. They got into a fight, but the woman managed to get away. When she returned to the apartment she found the beta fish that he had given her for her birthday lying on the kitchen floor with a knife through it. The woman was completely shocked that he would do that to the fish he bought for her, knowing that she cared for it very much. She asked the judge to make the boyfriend pay restitution so she could get a tattoo in honour of the fish; the judge declined. The man said that stabbing the fish was a very low point in his life and he hopes the judge will allow him to see fish again.
Both of these people need mental help. I'm sorry for the fish, but seriously, you wanted restitution so you could get a tattoo in honour of a beta fish? A beta fish costs like $2.25 at Pet Smart. Now if you had said it was an exotic Queen Angel fish, some shit that costs like $300.00, or something you can only find swimming off the glaciers of Antarctica, then perhaps I could see how you might be affected.
The Midget Cup
Always dreamed of being apart of the glamour and glitz that is professional horse racing, but couldn't afford a horse, too big to be a jockey, or in some other way you fall short? Well, what about midget racing? It's just as fun and it's a whole lot cheaper. In Australia, horse racing officials have decided to race midgets rather than horses to promote an annual carnival. The midgets are the jockeys and regular sized grown men are the "horses." The midgets ride piggyback and race down a 50 meter course. The Australian government blasted the activity as "tasteless."
I guess when you think of carnivals, you think of midgets. But this is also the same country that did the blackface Michael Jackson skit a few days ago. I'm beginning to wonder about the Land Down Under. What's going on over there?
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Retire
A Russian man who was previously homeless, managed to get himself off the streets and into stock market trading by collecting bottles. He had been living on the streets for more than a year, collecting as many as 2000 bottles a day and trading them in for cash. On average, one bottle fetches about six cents. He said because of the economy many Russians are drinking more heavily than usual (surprise, surprise), so that is why he was able to get as many bottles as he did. He got enough money to buy himself a majestic purple suit, some ostentatious violet jewellery and a $74,000 share purchase in the stock market.
When I was a mortgage collector, we used to tell people who were in serious default to collect cans to make their mortgage payment. Most of the time we got cussed at, laughed at, or hung up on. They thought it was a joke, but look, look at this man. He's movin' on up. Finally got that deluxe apartment in the sky. On some liquor bottles.
Today's Thought
We used to do things for posterity. Now we do things for ourselves and leave the bill to posterity. ~Anonymous
Today's History
In 1917, Dutch dancer Mata Hari was executed for spying for the Germans.
In 2003, 11 people were killed when the State Island Ferry crashed into a maintenance pier.
Today's News
In It To Win It
An Ohio woman has been arrested after causing a riot at a Burlington Coat Factory. The woman arrived at the store in a chauffeur driven stretch Hummer and announced that she had just won the lottery and she would pay for everybody's purchases up to $500. People began shopping in earnest, even calling relatives who were not in the store to come up to the store so they too could take part in this woman's charity. Soon at least 500 people were standing in line to get their purchases and another 1000 people were standing outside waiting to get in. She claimed she had just won $1.5 million and wanted to share it with everybody. After all the stuff was rung up, the woman said she was going to the bank to get some money. She came back empty-handed. Another woman came up to her and said, "I don't really need new clothes, I need help with my rent." So the lottery winner wrote her a check in the amount of the rent. Then the woman randomly disappeared. It was about an hour before the employees at Burlington Coat Factory realised the woman was gone and she hadn't paid for anything. That's when the customers began to riot screaming that they still wanted their free stuff. They began snatching at clothes and running out of the store. The police had to intervene and shut the store down to get everybody to calm down. The police would have never found the woman if she hadn't skipped out on the $900 bill she owed the Hummer driver; he turned her into the police.
She lucky she was in Ohio and not Baltimore; she would have been shot. That's crazy. I mean, I know crazy stuff like this could happen, but people are morons for even believing her, especially the workers at the store. In these difficult economic times, who just walks into a store and announces they gonna pay for everything? I would have been like, "We'll certainly honour your request if you wouldn't mind putting up a hefty retainer." So that means the clerks were over there scanning all this stuff and letting people leave without getting paid for anything. Then when she said, "I'm going to the bank real quick," that should have been a sign. Why did you come in here and you don't even have the money with you? The woman has been arrested on several charges, but if she has a good lawyer (or the money to pay for a good lawyer) he should be able to get her off. The woman can come in there and say anything she wants, as long as it isn't terrorist related, but she's not responsible for the people losing their minds and stealing stuff. She never said, "Hey, everybody, steal anything you want," and even if she did, she still isn't responsible. She didn't take anything except the free Hummer ride.
More Fish and Relationship Problems
A man who stabbed a woman's fish during a breakup has been given probation. An Oregan man shared an apartment with his girlfriend, but they decided to break up after he assaulted her. She asked him to leave but he returned a few hours later and was laying in the bed. They got into a fight, but the woman managed to get away. When she returned to the apartment she found the beta fish that he had given her for her birthday lying on the kitchen floor with a knife through it. The woman was completely shocked that he would do that to the fish he bought for her, knowing that she cared for it very much. She asked the judge to make the boyfriend pay restitution so she could get a tattoo in honour of the fish; the judge declined. The man said that stabbing the fish was a very low point in his life and he hopes the judge will allow him to see fish again.
Both of these people need mental help. I'm sorry for the fish, but seriously, you wanted restitution so you could get a tattoo in honour of a beta fish? A beta fish costs like $2.25 at Pet Smart. Now if you had said it was an exotic Queen Angel fish, some shit that costs like $300.00, or something you can only find swimming off the glaciers of Antarctica, then perhaps I could see how you might be affected.
The Midget Cup
Always dreamed of being apart of the glamour and glitz that is professional horse racing, but couldn't afford a horse, too big to be a jockey, or in some other way you fall short? Well, what about midget racing? It's just as fun and it's a whole lot cheaper. In Australia, horse racing officials have decided to race midgets rather than horses to promote an annual carnival. The midgets are the jockeys and regular sized grown men are the "horses." The midgets ride piggyback and race down a 50 meter course. The Australian government blasted the activity as "tasteless."
I guess when you think of carnivals, you think of midgets. But this is also the same country that did the blackface Michael Jackson skit a few days ago. I'm beginning to wonder about the Land Down Under. What's going on over there?
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Retire
A Russian man who was previously homeless, managed to get himself off the streets and into stock market trading by collecting bottles. He had been living on the streets for more than a year, collecting as many as 2000 bottles a day and trading them in for cash. On average, one bottle fetches about six cents. He said because of the economy many Russians are drinking more heavily than usual (surprise, surprise), so that is why he was able to get as many bottles as he did. He got enough money to buy himself a majestic purple suit, some ostentatious violet jewellery and a $74,000 share purchase in the stock market.
When I was a mortgage collector, we used to tell people who were in serious default to collect cans to make their mortgage payment. Most of the time we got cussed at, laughed at, or hung up on. They thought it was a joke, but look, look at this man. He's movin' on up. Finally got that deluxe apartment in the sky. On some liquor bottles.
Today's Thought
We used to do things for posterity. Now we do things for ourselves and leave the bill to posterity. ~Anonymous
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Totally Random No 13: What Not To Wear
It is most unfortunate that I am not permitted to bring a camera or any other recording device to work with me because you all surely would have had endless hours of amusement with the two train wrecks I see walking around my building on a daily basis.
Perhaps I am not the most fashion forward person out there. Maybe I'm a little eccentric in my preference for all black like I'm on my way to a funeral. If you do not care for my mode of dress, that's perfectly fine, but at least I can say I am never unprofessional in what ever black skirt or black dress I have on.
What should you not wear to work?
Let's see.
Maybe you shouldn't show up to work in a pair of ragged fishnets that look like they were run through a paper shredder then given to two cats to fight over while tied up in some razor wire. Can they at least be the right size instead of bagging around your knees like you just fell out of a port-a-potty in mid-stream. You should also forget about the plastic knee high boots whose heels are so worn down they look like door stops. I also think you should give back the backless, skin tight black dress you borrowed from Elvira. Never mind the fact that it's 51 degrees out, but instead, we'll focus on how the dress is two sizes too small.
Sorry, but Spanky's is too blocks up on the left. You're at the wrong building, honey.
Seriously.
But how about the other woman I see frequently wearing her pathetic attempts at creativity. Yes, I know Hallowe'en is approaching, but do you really have to show up to work in a sweater that looks like you fell into the yarn bin at Joanne Fabrics with 1001 jack-o-lanterns sewn onto it?
That was Friday. Today she had on some baggy leather pants with giant safety pins threaded up the sides and a hoodie that didn't just have a regular hood, but a witch hat. She walked around the building for the better part of the day with a witch hat hoodie. I didn't even know they made something like that.
Daily News October 13
Today is October 13. It is the 286th day of the year with 79 to go.
Today's History
In 1792, the cornerstone of the executive mansion, later known as the White House was laid during a ceremony in DC.
In 1999, the JonBenet Ramsey case was dismissed after prosecutors said there was not enough evidence to charge anyone with the girl's death.
Today's News
Thrice Fried
In a strange accident, a family of three were electrocuted and killed as they tried to put up an antenna. The mother, father, and 15 year old son were all holding onto the antenna when it fell over and hit a power line, sending 13,000 volts of electricity through the antenna. The mothe died at the scene and father and son were pronounced dead as they arrived at the hospital.
Sometimes it seems like someone really has it out for you. That sounded like some Final Destination type stuff.
One Way Or Another
A German man who had been booted off a train for failure to buy a ticket, decided to moon the train conductors and ended up being dragged for about 200 meters. The man got on the train and was asked to leave after it was discovered he hadn't bought a ticket. When he got off the train, he dropped his pants and pressed his butt up against the window to moon the train conductors. The train started rolling and his pants got caught on something. The train dragged him for 200 meters, but he was able to keep his legs from rolling under the train wheels. Another passenger on the train saw what was happening and pulled the emergency brake. The man now faces several charges including interference of rail transport. He may also have to pay a large fine because the train was delayed for more than an hour and caused 23 other trains to be delayed. The man says he is sorry and doesn't suggest that anybody else try this at home.
I guess he figured one way or another he was going to get his train ride, whether he was inside the train, running alongside it, or hitched to the side. This guy could have been killed or seriously injured. I can't imagine being dragged by a train is a fun way to die.
I Shall Have My Vengeance
An Indian man who was in court for stealing a ceiling fan has confessed to killing at least 11 women because another woman refused to marry him. The man had been arrested after he was caught stealing a ceiling fan from a mosque. While he was being questioned in court, he randomly said that he was responsible for the deaths of 11 women in the area, whose murders all remained unsolved. The first woman he killed was the wife of his brother in law. The other women were all aged 17 to 35. He would lure them in by telling them he was interested in marriage. When asked why he killed these women, he told the judge because he had been rejected by another woman 15 years ago. He said out of vengeance he would kill 101 women. He did not say whether he had killed that woman or not. The man is now married with two kids, but he said he has never forgotten his vow and began killing the women in 2007.
See how people are not wrapped right? So this woman rejected him. That's most unfortunate, but you see he was able to find another woman and start a family. Why did he feel the need to continue this "vow" and kill these other women who had nothing to do with the first woman? Perhaps I could see if he started killing off her family, or maybe even her, but random women who had nothing to do with that initial rejection. How does that even make sense, and on top of that, he was at the court because he stole a ceiling fan and then he just came out with, "Yeah, I killed 11 women." Uhm... I hope they have the death penalty over there in India and since it's a third world country, I hope it's gruesome and inhumane.
That's My Ride
A Kansas man has been arrested after he stole an ambulance during a night of drinking. The ambulance was parked in an area where there are plenty of bars and specialty shops. The crew was responding to an emergency when a random guy came out of a bar and jumped into the ambulance. He led the police on a brief, low-speed chase through the small town. When he eventually stopped he told police he took the ambulance because he had no other way of getting home.
Uhm... first of all, why would you think that it's okay to take an ambulance? Secondly, if you are drunk, why are you trying to drive at all? But then again, most drunks are never rational. I just can't see me stumbling out of a bar and into an ambulance. How am I going to explain why an emergency vehicle is parked in my driveway?
Porn and Viagra: The Necessities of Life
A store in Detroit has been closed after it was discovered the employees were allowing customers to purchase alcohol, pornography and Viagra with their food stamp cards. Customers could also get cash if they allowed the store employees to charge an excess amount to the card. The employees would then file for reimbursement with the U.S. Government in a scam that resulted in more than $100,000 in two years. All three employees have been arrested.
So, you do know that food stamps are only for the basic necessities of life. There are serious restrictions as to what type of food you're allowed to buy. You can't get Froot Loops, but you can get Fruit Rings. So you mean my tax dollars are hard at work so someone can get his rocks off? Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Me and My Best Friend
A Houston man has been arrested on drug charges after he was found sleeping in a closet with a dead body. Apparently, both men had been doing drugs some time that day and eventually found themselves in a closet. One man fell asleep and the other one died, although the cause is not immediately known at this time. Initially, the man who was still alive was charged with abuse of a corpse, both those charges have been dropped.
Well, isn't that disturbing? But first of all, I need to understand why they get in the closet in the first place? Yeah, I know when you're on drugs you don't really make a lot of sense, but what was it about a closet? So you climb up in the closet and one man falls asleep while the other one dies. Did the guy die before the other guy fell asleep? He was like, "Aww, man, my friend died. Well, anyway, I'm tired. G'night!"
Today's Thought
Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself. ~Anthony Trollope
Today's History
In 1792, the cornerstone of the executive mansion, later known as the White House was laid during a ceremony in DC.
In 1999, the JonBenet Ramsey case was dismissed after prosecutors said there was not enough evidence to charge anyone with the girl's death.
Today's News
Thrice Fried
In a strange accident, a family of three were electrocuted and killed as they tried to put up an antenna. The mother, father, and 15 year old son were all holding onto the antenna when it fell over and hit a power line, sending 13,000 volts of electricity through the antenna. The mothe died at the scene and father and son were pronounced dead as they arrived at the hospital.
Sometimes it seems like someone really has it out for you. That sounded like some Final Destination type stuff.
One Way Or Another
A German man who had been booted off a train for failure to buy a ticket, decided to moon the train conductors and ended up being dragged for about 200 meters. The man got on the train and was asked to leave after it was discovered he hadn't bought a ticket. When he got off the train, he dropped his pants and pressed his butt up against the window to moon the train conductors. The train started rolling and his pants got caught on something. The train dragged him for 200 meters, but he was able to keep his legs from rolling under the train wheels. Another passenger on the train saw what was happening and pulled the emergency brake. The man now faces several charges including interference of rail transport. He may also have to pay a large fine because the train was delayed for more than an hour and caused 23 other trains to be delayed. The man says he is sorry and doesn't suggest that anybody else try this at home.
I guess he figured one way or another he was going to get his train ride, whether he was inside the train, running alongside it, or hitched to the side. This guy could have been killed or seriously injured. I can't imagine being dragged by a train is a fun way to die.
I Shall Have My Vengeance
An Indian man who was in court for stealing a ceiling fan has confessed to killing at least 11 women because another woman refused to marry him. The man had been arrested after he was caught stealing a ceiling fan from a mosque. While he was being questioned in court, he randomly said that he was responsible for the deaths of 11 women in the area, whose murders all remained unsolved. The first woman he killed was the wife of his brother in law. The other women were all aged 17 to 35. He would lure them in by telling them he was interested in marriage. When asked why he killed these women, he told the judge because he had been rejected by another woman 15 years ago. He said out of vengeance he would kill 101 women. He did not say whether he had killed that woman or not. The man is now married with two kids, but he said he has never forgotten his vow and began killing the women in 2007.
See how people are not wrapped right? So this woman rejected him. That's most unfortunate, but you see he was able to find another woman and start a family. Why did he feel the need to continue this "vow" and kill these other women who had nothing to do with the first woman? Perhaps I could see if he started killing off her family, or maybe even her, but random women who had nothing to do with that initial rejection. How does that even make sense, and on top of that, he was at the court because he stole a ceiling fan and then he just came out with, "Yeah, I killed 11 women." Uhm... I hope they have the death penalty over there in India and since it's a third world country, I hope it's gruesome and inhumane.
That's My Ride
A Kansas man has been arrested after he stole an ambulance during a night of drinking. The ambulance was parked in an area where there are plenty of bars and specialty shops. The crew was responding to an emergency when a random guy came out of a bar and jumped into the ambulance. He led the police on a brief, low-speed chase through the small town. When he eventually stopped he told police he took the ambulance because he had no other way of getting home.
Uhm... first of all, why would you think that it's okay to take an ambulance? Secondly, if you are drunk, why are you trying to drive at all? But then again, most drunks are never rational. I just can't see me stumbling out of a bar and into an ambulance. How am I going to explain why an emergency vehicle is parked in my driveway?
Porn and Viagra: The Necessities of Life
A store in Detroit has been closed after it was discovered the employees were allowing customers to purchase alcohol, pornography and Viagra with their food stamp cards. Customers could also get cash if they allowed the store employees to charge an excess amount to the card. The employees would then file for reimbursement with the U.S. Government in a scam that resulted in more than $100,000 in two years. All three employees have been arrested.
So, you do know that food stamps are only for the basic necessities of life. There are serious restrictions as to what type of food you're allowed to buy. You can't get Froot Loops, but you can get Fruit Rings. So you mean my tax dollars are hard at work so someone can get his rocks off? Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Me and My Best Friend
A Houston man has been arrested on drug charges after he was found sleeping in a closet with a dead body. Apparently, both men had been doing drugs some time that day and eventually found themselves in a closet. One man fell asleep and the other one died, although the cause is not immediately known at this time. Initially, the man who was still alive was charged with abuse of a corpse, both those charges have been dropped.
Well, isn't that disturbing? But first of all, I need to understand why they get in the closet in the first place? Yeah, I know when you're on drugs you don't really make a lot of sense, but what was it about a closet? So you climb up in the closet and one man falls asleep while the other one dies. Did the guy die before the other guy fell asleep? He was like, "Aww, man, my friend died. Well, anyway, I'm tired. G'night!"
Today's Thought
Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself. ~Anthony Trollope
Monday, October 12, 2009
A Rose By Any Other Name
I don't know who said a rose by any other name is still a rose, but I can say that I only half agree with him.
The other night on the Wayne Whitlock show, he posed the question, "Do you think it's disrespectful if you don't give the child the father's last name? Why or why not?" Firstly, I'm glad he finally asked a mature question instead of senseless questions about booty calls and one night stands, and secondly, this question really hit home with me.
I do not know why, but I am truly amazed at how quickly people are to pass judgment on someone else. I say I don't know why because this is life. Everyday we're passing judgment on someone else, basing their lives on what we think they should be. Good morals tell us not to judge, but we do it anyway. I'm guilty of it. You're guilty of it. So we should probably move on. I can't, however, because some of the responses to his question truly blew me away. When it's someone else's business, people always act so affronted as if they would never do such a thing. Perhaps one or two would never do such a thing, but the number of people who sounded so offended was amusing, to say the least.
I'm always floored that most people are not able to consider a person's position before coming to a conclusion. Opinions are always hastily made, in the heat of the moment without a second thought. Most people become so steadfast that they absolutely refuse to see another person's side, even if they are dead wrong and they know they are dead wrong.
So, let's examine some of the responses Wayne Whitlock got to his question. Naturally, I won't use anybody's name. Most of the responders were women.
One girl said she doesn't think it's disrespectful because when you're not married and you have a baby, that's the way it can go. Another girl said not naming the child after the father showed the mother's ignorance (unless she was raped). She thinks you shouldn't have sex with a man if you aren't willing to have a baby by him. She also thinks it's confusing to the child. I think she may have based her opinion on the fact that her husband never knew his own father.
Another woman said she thought it was disrespectful because the father helped to make the baby. Don't deny the child the right of the other side. She says we shouldn't allow our personal feelings about the relationship affect our ability to be a rational parent.
Hmmm. Very good reasoning.
Someone else said she'd give her baby the father's name no matter what the situation was. Like it or not, he's the father, and plus there's always legal issues to worry about.
Someone said when she was young and had a baby she was going to give the kid her own name, but her mother told her that it was important for the kid to have the father's name. The father was at first shitty, but then later turned out to be a good father to his kid. She wants her children to know that they have family outside of her own.
Then there was the person who said the child should have the father's name even if you're "beefin'" with the "baby daddy" you should think twice about conceiving a child with a man who doesn't deserve to have a namesake.
There were a lot of people who seemed to agree with this sentiment, saying things like "why would you put yourself in a situation where you can possibly be pregnant by someone you wouldn't name your child after," and "whatever the two of you are going through it should not have anything to do with the child."
All of this was very disconcerting. I like it how most of the women seemed to think that not naming the child after the father was because they were beefin' or somehow the woman knew the father was a deadbeat but had a child by him anyway or why the woman put herself in a situation like that. It seemed to me that these woman (the judges) were quick to place much of the blame on the woman by having a baby with a man she didn't want to name her child after. No one seemed to consider the fact that maybe the man and woman didn't have any problems until the issue of a baby showed up. Or maybe the man disappeared after he found she was pregnant.
Since Wayne did not put any stipulations on the question, these women just came up with the "situation" of their own accord, and all of the situations were negative placing the woman at fault.
Hey, I know about life and I know things are never what they same. Men and women have been getting together outside of marriage since the dawn of time. Men have been dipping out on expectant women since forever and that is never going to change. Women have been hanging on to deadbeat men since before Jesus walked the earth and that is never going to change. Women are always going to make excuses for men and that is just how it is.
I was seriously offended by some of the comments which is why I stopped reading the responses and stopped posting. No sense in me getting all agitated and saying something out of turn. These women don't know me and I don't know them. We know nothing of our own situations.
I am a child that was named after the father because the mother thought it was the right thing to do. Tradition being what it is, she always thought that kids should have their father's name. I think when my parents got together, they were in happier times, but when my mother found out that I was going to making an appearance, my father was like, "Yeah, that's not really what I had in mind."
By all accounts, they were quite happy together until the prospect of a baby interrupted the dream. She thought he would marry her; he thought she would "do something" about the situation. Both were very wrong. He said he would stick around, but in the end, he didn't. My mother named me after him anyway.
Even though my mother was sorely bitter at my father and probably wouldn't have let me see him anyway, out of vengeance, he never even offered. I didn't meet him until I was 19, but everyday before that I looked in the mirror and had a name that reflected a person I had never met. I had a name that reflected a person who was not in the slightest bit interested in meeting me. I used to want to ask my mother why she named me after him when obviously just hearing the name caused her great annoyance.
Our names were so close that only one letter differed. And it was the most agonising thing. When school teachers would meet my mother they would refer to her as Mrs. [My Last Name] and I could see her skin crawl. When teachers met my stepfather they would call him Mr. [My Last Name] and then there would be an endless round of humiliating explanations. Since these are modern times, divorce and children born out of wedlock are a frequent occurrence. Still, it doesn't mean that it's no less embarrassing.
Since my mother married my stepfather, my sister and brother have his last name. Everyone in the family has his last name, except me. Think of my shame when someone asked me if I was adopted. How did I answer, "Why is your last name different?" Think of loneliness I feel when someone pointedly says, "Yeah, but you're not the same as them."
My mother and I do not share a great relationship. We barely speak. I know it's because I am my father's daughter. I represent all the things she wanted out of life but didn't get. I represent pain, misery, humiliation, and abandonment. I represent mistrust, betrayal and lies. Every time she said my name it was like a curse. Not like the "F" word, but more like an eternal damnation, like something from the Bible. I asked myself a million times over, why did you name me after him?
Is it because it gave her some hope that he might later be interested? Who knows? I have never asked her, and now the whole situation is moot. After thirty years of questions, embarrassment, self doubt, and a sense of worthlessness and feeling like I had no identity, I finally changed my name. I wanted to do so ever since I was a kid. I used to make up names. You know how on the first day of school the teacher would ask if had a nickname or a name you preferred, I would always make up some totally random name. I've been Phoebe, Irma, Gwen, Mary and Desdemona, none of which sound anything like my former name.
I think my parents were completely clueless as to why I was doing this. I don't think it ever occurred to them I was changing my name because I absolutely abhorred my given name. Not only did it remind me of the father who wanted nothing to do with me, but it was the worst name I had ever heard (and that's a whole other story) with connotations I don't feel like getting into.
I change my whole entire name, first, middle and last. It seems pretty drastic, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of signing that idiotic name. I was tired of representing someone who had absolutely zero interest in me. I was tired of attaching myself to a family that I knew nothing about.
Subsequently, I do know my father's side of the family but most times I don't have a sense of family, more of friendship with the aunts and cousins I've met. I rarely see my father and no one ever mentions him to me, except in periphery. My aunt begged me not to change my name when I first told her I was going to do it. I had already submitted the paperwork because my mind was already set.
My mother seemed surprised when I told her what I was about. My sister thought it was for the best. When I chose my new name (after months of agonising...and this is why people should not name themselves) my stepfather asked why I didn't pick his last name. For sheer vanity purposes, his last name is corny, but more importantly, I feel like if he was going to give me his last name, it would have been done a long time ago. I let my mother choose my first name and I picked my own middle names. I chose her maiden name since she was unmarried at the time of my birth.
I agree with some of those women on the Wayne Whitlock show, you shouldn't use your child in vengeance. Don't alienate the kid because you and the father are having issues. If he's in the child's life and wants to be in the kid's life, then it is his right, whether you're married or not. But in the end, your child's welfare is the most important thing. Not your pride or your vanity. Be prepared for whatever comes up in your child's life. If his father is absent and he wants to know why he isn't the same as everybody else in the family, you have to answer for that. If he feels like he has no identity, you have to take care of that. If he feels like he doesn't belong, then you need to address that too.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Why We Fail
Okay, so the kid and I went to the diner this afternoon because I was too lazy to cook dinner. He's always complaining that we never do anything together, and I figured it would be a nice thing for us to sit and have a conversation about whatever is under the sun.
Sadly, even though he is only 12, he would rather sit and watch the football game than engage in intellectual discourse. Whatever. I had to ask the waitress to move us.
At any rate, we sat near the waitress station where a group of waitresses were shooting the breeze until their next customers come along. Without really meaning to, I just happened to overhear their conversation. Apparently, one of them was glad she was off school on Monday "because of the holiday."
The other waitress didn't know what holiday she was talking about.
Waitress 2: Which holiday is that?
Waitress 1: Columbus Day or something.
Waitress 3: We still celebrate that?
Waitress 2: Yeah, I thought that was something from elementary school. What is Columbus Day about anyway?
Waitress 1: It's the guy who discovered America.
Waitress 2: Who discovered America?
Waitress 1: Christopher Columbus.
Waitress 3: Who is that?
Waitress 1: The guy who discovered America.
Waitress 3: I thought it was George Washington.
Waitress 1: It might have been, but I know Columbus Day is about Christopher Columbus.
Waitress 2: Oh, he was the guy with the ships trying to sail to China.
Waitress 1: Yeah, that's him!
Waitress 2: He was like trying to find China and then he came here by accident, then he went south or something.
Waitress 3: South like in the south, or like South America?
Waitress 2: South like in the south. He went to Florida.
Waitress 3: Oh, because I think it was South America.
Waitress 1: It was somewhere south.
Waitress 2: He had the three ships, the Nina... something, I forget the other two.
Waitress 3: I don't know either.
Waitress 2: That was a long time ago, like in the 1700s. 1792.
Waitress 3: Dang, that was a long time ago.
Then they all got up because some people came in needing to be seated. I was laughing my ass off and the kid wanted to know what was so funny. I tried to explain it to him but since he doesn't know who Christopher Columbus is either, he was just staring at me. "I don't get how that's funny."
First of all, George Washington did not discover America. And if Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1792, he was a day late and a dollar short. Besides having been dead for nearly 300 years, America had already been "discovered" and was moderately populated. In fact, by 1792, the Delcaration of Independence had already been written and we were pretty much finishing up the whole American Revolution thing. So uhm.... Christopher Columbus can keep sailing, not to Florida (that was Ponce de Leon) and he wasn't looking for China, not really. He was looking for India.
But I guess that's why they're waitresses and not historians.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Daily News October 9
Today is October 9th. This is the 282nd day of the year with 83 to go
Today's History
In 1446, the Korean alphabet was first published.
In 1701, Yale University was chartered.
Today's News
Trash Day
Police in Jacksonville, Florida discovered the body of a 71 year old woman under an 8 foot pile of garbage--in her home. Relatives called police after they hadn't heard from the woman in a few weeks. The badly decomposed body and the stack of trash produced a stank so bad the officers could not stay in the home to even look for her body. They had to bring in the fire department which used their breathing gear and search dogs to unearth the body. No cause of death has been released.
See how people treat their relatives? This lady was in her seventies and no one knew she was living like that? Or they knew and didn't say anything. That's why they called the police instead of going over to the house to check on her. They didn't want to wade through "unbelievable squalor," as the police called it to see if she was all right. She had been dead for weeks. Sad.
Trick or Treat!
An Iowa family was leaving for work and school one morning when they opened the door to find a dead deer dressed up in a clown suit on their front porch. Authorities think it's probably a prank since it's almost Hallowe'en, but the family didn't find Bambi dressed up in a wig and clown suit to be very amusing. Leaving a dead animal is illegal in Iowa. In another unrelated incident in Wisconsin, someone left a dead and decapitated moose on top of a public building. It is unclear whether someone brought the animal up there and killed it, or if it was killed someplace else and then dragged.
Okay, what's up with the weird animal pranks? I hope you realise that killing animals is usually a sign of some serious psychosis. Think about it, neither a deer nor a moose is exactly a featherweight. I can't imagine that it was in the slightest bit amusing to haul around an 800 pound moose to the top of a building. Who would take the time to do something so ridiculous?
New Category for Nobel Prize
As we all know there are five categories for the Nobel Prize: Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature and Peace. Of course, you know by now that U.S. President Barack Obama has been awarded with the Peace Prize. A Taliban spokesman has suggested that Obama receive a prize for violence since he has "escalated violence and killed civillians."
Uhm, yeah, so I don't think that's what Alfred Nobel had in mind, but we do thank you for your suggestion.
Celebrity News
The Duggar family, the midwestern family with all those damn kids, announced the birth of their first grandchild this morning. Their eldest son Josh was married last year, and he and his wife welcomed their daughter Mackynzie Duggar. The Duggar patriarch and matriarch have 18 children in all, with the last one being born in December. They announced in September that number 19 will be here by spring.
I hope you all know that this is a secret plan for them to take over the world. They will have as many children as earthly possible until the entire earth is filled with Duggars. If these 18 children have 18 children each, and those 18 children have 18 children each and this continues then the Duggar family will exceed the population of the earth in eight generations. The rest of us will have no choice but to marry one of them. Before you know it, we will all be members of the Duggar clan! Earth will be renamed Duggeropia.
Today's Thought
The world is divided into people who think they are right. --Anonymous
Today's History
In 1446, the Korean alphabet was first published.
In 1701, Yale University was chartered.
Today's News
Trash Day
Police in Jacksonville, Florida discovered the body of a 71 year old woman under an 8 foot pile of garbage--in her home. Relatives called police after they hadn't heard from the woman in a few weeks. The badly decomposed body and the stack of trash produced a stank so bad the officers could not stay in the home to even look for her body. They had to bring in the fire department which used their breathing gear and search dogs to unearth the body. No cause of death has been released.
See how people treat their relatives? This lady was in her seventies and no one knew she was living like that? Or they knew and didn't say anything. That's why they called the police instead of going over to the house to check on her. They didn't want to wade through "unbelievable squalor," as the police called it to see if she was all right. She had been dead for weeks. Sad.
Trick or Treat!
An Iowa family was leaving for work and school one morning when they opened the door to find a dead deer dressed up in a clown suit on their front porch. Authorities think it's probably a prank since it's almost Hallowe'en, but the family didn't find Bambi dressed up in a wig and clown suit to be very amusing. Leaving a dead animal is illegal in Iowa. In another unrelated incident in Wisconsin, someone left a dead and decapitated moose on top of a public building. It is unclear whether someone brought the animal up there and killed it, or if it was killed someplace else and then dragged.
Okay, what's up with the weird animal pranks? I hope you realise that killing animals is usually a sign of some serious psychosis. Think about it, neither a deer nor a moose is exactly a featherweight. I can't imagine that it was in the slightest bit amusing to haul around an 800 pound moose to the top of a building. Who would take the time to do something so ridiculous?
New Category for Nobel Prize
As we all know there are five categories for the Nobel Prize: Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature and Peace. Of course, you know by now that U.S. President Barack Obama has been awarded with the Peace Prize. A Taliban spokesman has suggested that Obama receive a prize for violence since he has "escalated violence and killed civillians."
Uhm, yeah, so I don't think that's what Alfred Nobel had in mind, but we do thank you for your suggestion.
Celebrity News
The Duggar family, the midwestern family with all those damn kids, announced the birth of their first grandchild this morning. Their eldest son Josh was married last year, and he and his wife welcomed their daughter Mackynzie Duggar. The Duggar patriarch and matriarch have 18 children in all, with the last one being born in December. They announced in September that number 19 will be here by spring.
I hope you all know that this is a secret plan for them to take over the world. They will have as many children as earthly possible until the entire earth is filled with Duggars. If these 18 children have 18 children each, and those 18 children have 18 children each and this continues then the Duggar family will exceed the population of the earth in eight generations. The rest of us will have no choice but to marry one of them. Before you know it, we will all be members of the Duggar clan! Earth will be renamed Duggeropia.
Today's Thought
The world is divided into people who think they are right. --Anonymous
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Daily News October 8
Today is October 8th. It is the 281st day of the year with 84 to go.
Today's History
In 1871, the Great Fire of Chicago erupted, destroying much of the city.
In 1999, Laila Ali made her pro boxing debut by knocking out April Fowler in 31 seconds.
Today's News
That's My Boy!
Police in Washington state have begun a massive manhunt for an 18 year old kid accused of at least 50 burlargies. The kid has become smoething of a legend to local police who have tried sevearl times to catch him but each time he's managed to get away. One officer said the boy "virtually vaporised in front of me." They are calling him the Barefoot Burglar because he usually doesn't have on shoes when he begins his capers. Apparently, he has become bored with breaking into people's houses and chilling on their couches until the cops come; now he has moved on to stealing airplanes. It is alleged he has stolen at least three airplanes from rural airports and crash landed them. He is also suspected of stealing a boat. The boy has been living a life of crime since early childhood. At age 12, he was convicted of stolen property. He had three more convictions by 13. He also posed as a pizza boy and stole the pizzas, as well as a Mercedes and an expensive high-end digital camera. In 2007, he was finally caught and sent to juvenile detention where he behaved well and was transferred to a halfway house. He climbed out the window and began his 18 month burglary and airplane theft spree. Police haven't seen him since. Part of the reason they haven't caught him is because police resources on the island are very limited. Yes, this kid has managed to elude the police since 2007 on a small island. The crazy thing about all this is that his mother said she "doesn't see anything wrnog with what he's done." In fact, she's proud. she just wants him to wear a parachute the next time he takes a plane.
Uhm, she's proud that he's breaking into people's houses, stealing airplanes, expensive cars and boats? Let's see how proud she would be if they slapped her with a bill for all that damaged property. The average price for a Cessna airplane is about $55000-99000, depending on the model and accessories. Then let's add the hangars he destroyed, the property stolen from these people's houses and the Mercedes, and we all know there is no such thing as a cheap Mercedes. Let's not forget the boat. Stealing pizzas was petty, but stealing aircraft is a felony, so this "Mama's boy" is looking at some serious time. I need his mother to be a little less indulgent and a little more whoop that ass. But you can tell she ain't wrapped right because she first greeted reporters with a shotgun, then decided to give a detailed and lengthy interview. She said that she hopes her son makes it to a country where he cannot be extradited. What is wrong with people?
The Grape Escape
A Wisconsin inmate is back in solitary confinement after he tried to escape from a correctional facility using newspapers and raisins. Around 530 in the morning, he was told to collect the food carts from the yard, and instead of doing so, he made a beeline for the fences which are topped with barbed wire. He stuffed his clothing with newspapers to provide protection against the barbs, but he still managed to cut his hand and fell to the ground. He had a giant bag of raisins with him. In 1981, he had another unsuccessful escape attempt.
Okay, so what were the raisins for, to eat while you were on the trail? I'm confused.
Top 10 Risky Foods
Leafy greens, eggs, tuna, oysters, potatoes, cheese, ice cream, tomatoes, sprouts and berries are the top ten riskiest foods to eat in the US. These foods have been linked to serious illness and death over the past few decades. Leafy green vegetables resulted in 13,568 illnesses in the past 20 years. Berries caused 3397 illnesses. Most of these foods are actually good for you; however, they've been linked to foodborne illnesses caused by improper handling and negligence. Lettuce has been linked to Norovirus and E. coli. Salmonella has been found in poorly handled eggs, cheese and tomatoes. Both Salmonella and E. coli are found in potatoes. Poorly stored tuna releases harmful toxins and improperly washed oysters are at risk of Norovirus. Salmonella tainted ice cream in 1994 caused thousands to fall ill across 41 states.
In case you didn't know, falling ill from salmonella, E. coli and Norovirus poisoning is not a good thing. If you're generally healthy, you'll just crap a lot and vomit a few times and be on your merry way. If you're an infant, like the poor 2 year old who died after his mother gave him what she thought was a nutritious meal, then you should be more careful. So, in addition to all these foods you have to check for potential foodborne bacteria, you should also consider all the food you shouldn't eat due to health reasons, and then the contaminated products coming out of China, not to mention the so-called spring water that is tainted with lead and mercury. Basically this means you should not eat anything, just starve. After a few generations, the human body will adapt to this skin and bones lifestyle.
Celebrity News
The FBI has just released a report stating that it once considered Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith a suspect in a murder plot. The report indicates Anna might have plotted to murder her millionaire husband's son while they were battling over his money. The FBI stated that the investigation was dropped because there was no evidence to support. She was interviewed once, but Anna cried during the interview that she knew of no such plot and wasn't involved in anything. Investigators also came to her home before she died and removed several firearms, a large knife and an orange and black hat (yeah, I don't know either). Her husband died a little more than a year after they got married. He was 89; she was 26. His soon took her to court over the money but he died in 2006 during the proceedings. As we all know, Anna also died in 2007. The money is still being fought over. Anna's daughter is now 3, and there is a huge custody battle over the kid, because she will inherit the money.
All I want to know is what's up with the hat? How does that figure into a potential murder plot?
And speaking of Playmates, Levi Johnston, father of Sarah Palin's grandson will pose for Playgirl. Yes, you read that correctly. Not sure who wuold want to view this crime against nature, but he has been training six nights a week with a bodybuilder in Alaska to prepare for the photo shoot. Palin representatives say this could be a source of embarassment (as if her entire life isn't a source of embarrassment already) as she has been spoken of as a potential presidential candidate in 2012. For reasons God only knows why, she has been much in the news lately, particularly about her random resignation as Alaska governor, then this memoir of hers that is due in bookstores shortly.
I will be purchasing the book as soon as it hits shelves--to use as toilet paper.
Today's Thought
History is the propaganda of the victors. --Ernst Toller
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Totally Random No. 12
So, today I was heading down 197 on my way to the dentist to drop off some paperwork. I was driving along, minding my own business when I happened to look in my rear view mirror. Behind I noticed a man on his motorcycle.
Nothing spectacular about that except that his head appeared to be grossly deformed. I was staring so hard that I nearly wrecked my car. You know how you see something and you're like, "What the heck is that?" and you can't take your eyes off it. His face was looking totally fucked up but he was too far away for me to tell what was wrong with him.
So logic escaped me because, you know, in Maryland, riders must wear helmets and I never thought about that it might be his helmet that was jacked up.
Luckily, I did not wreck but came to an abrupt stop at the light. The guy on the motorcycle goes whizzing past me. I see what is wrong with him.
His helmet is shaped like a dinosaur head. It had this long snout with a vicious set of teeth. It even had spikes on top, kind of like Godzilla.
Naturally, as most motorcyclists do, he is flying down the street, well above the speed limit and everybody starts slowing down. Maybe they don't want to hit him, or maybe they're just as baffled as I am. What the hell was that!?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Daily News: October 6th
Today is October 6th. It is the 279th day of the year with 86 to go.
Today’s History
In 1981, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat was shot to death in a military parade.
In 2004, an arms inspector in Iraq determined Saddam Hussein did not
produce weapons of mass destruction after 1991.
Today’s News
It’s What’s For Dinner, Part 2
A Canadian man is recovering in hospital after he was mauled by a 2
year old Siberian tiger. He and another man broke into a zoo at 1
a.m. and climbed into the tiger cage where he was attacked. The cage
is surrounded by an eight foot fence topped with barbed wire. The
tiger hooked him with a claw and dragged him against the inner fence.
The man’s injuries are life threatening.
Once again, what motivates people? The police may charge the man with
breaking and entering, so in addition to being nearly eaten by a
tiger, you now have a criminal record. This is after the two boys
were killed by the tiger at the San Francisco zoo after they taunted
the tiger that escaped. This is after the woman who climbed into the
polar bear tank and was nearly mauled to death (yeah, they aren’t as
cute as you thought they were). In case you didn't know, Siberian
tigers are not to be trifled with. They are the largest cat species
in the world, weighing up to 670 pounds and measuring more than 11
feet in length. Not only are they big as hell, but they like to play
with you. They will lie in wait for up to two hours before they jump
on you and eat you. People, it's what's for dinner.
breaking and entering, so in addition to being nearly eaten by a
tiger, you now have a criminal record. This is after the two boys
were killed by the tiger at the San Francisco zoo after they taunted
the tiger that escaped. This is after the woman who climbed into the
polar bear tank and was nearly mauled to death (yeah, they aren’t as
cute as you thought they were). In case you didn't know, Siberian
tigers are not to be trifled with. They are the largest cat species
in the world, weighing up to 670 pounds and measuring more than 11
feet in length. Not only are they big as hell, but they like to play
with you. They will lie in wait for up to two hours before they jump
on you and eat you. People, it's what's for dinner.
Let’s Just Go To a Driving School
A Maryland man is recovering in hospital after a minivan crashed
through his apartment and landed on the bed he was lying in. Another
man was trying to teach a friend how to drive when the friend lost
control of the wheel. They were driving on Good Luck Road in Lanham
when the accident happened. The driver was an illegal immigrant and
the person who was supposedly teaching him how to drive did not have a
license. Both are charged with reckless endangerment.
Okay, if you don’t have a license, do you really think you should be
teaching someone else how to drive? Yeah, I know there are a lot of
unlicensed drivers out there that do know how to drive, but what are
you going to do when your “student” does something dumb, like, oh
let’s just say, crash a van through an apartment! Can you imagine,
you’re just lying in bed, hugged up with your boo, when BLAM! A damn
minivan comes barrelling through the wall and hops into bed with you.
teaching someone else how to drive? Yeah, I know there are a lot of
unlicensed drivers out there that do know how to drive, but what are
you going to do when your “student” does something dumb, like, oh
let’s just say, crash a van through an apartment! Can you imagine,
you’re just lying in bed, hugged up with your boo, when BLAM! A damn
minivan comes barrelling through the wall and hops into bed with you.
No, Seriously, This is Perfectly Safe
An Alabama woman is being charged with endangering the welfare of a
child after she let her kid ride on top of the family van in a
cardboard box. Police received reports from witnesses saying they
just saw a kid riding down the street in a box on top of a van. The
woman told police that the box was too big to fit in the van and the
daughter was inside the box to weigh it down so it wouldn’t blow away.
She felt it was perfectly safe since the box was secured by a clothes
hanger. The girl was not injured and is now in the care of relatives.
And I’m wrong because I think people should pass a test in order to
have children. What on earth would make you think that this is a
perfectly reasonable activity? Yes, let’s put the kid in a box on TOP
of a moving vehicle going at least 55 miles an hour down a highway.
Oh, no, it was secured by a clothes hanger. A hanger? Have you ever
tried to put a heavy coat on a hanger and that thing just bends or
snaps in half? The report said state highway, so I’m assuming a road
like 295. That’s a state highway. I can imagine all sorts of
horrors: an accident, the box falling off into an oncoming car, this
supposedly secure hanger snapping in half and flinging the girl into
the trees. I need to understand her thought process. Actually, I
also need to understand why the girl was like okay. She’s 13. Trust
me, if I told the kid to get in a box on top of the car while I rode
up the street, he would look at me like I’m crazy. He would be like,
"Why don't you get in the box, and I'll drive."
have children. What on earth would make you think that this is a
perfectly reasonable activity? Yes, let’s put the kid in a box on TOP
of a moving vehicle going at least 55 miles an hour down a highway.
Oh, no, it was secured by a clothes hanger. A hanger? Have you ever
tried to put a heavy coat on a hanger and that thing just bends or
snaps in half? The report said state highway, so I’m assuming a road
like 295. That’s a state highway. I can imagine all sorts of
horrors: an accident, the box falling off into an oncoming car, this
supposedly secure hanger snapping in half and flinging the girl into
the trees. I need to understand her thought process. Actually, I
also need to understand why the girl was like okay. She’s 13. Trust
me, if I told the kid to get in a box on top of the car while I rode
up the street, he would look at me like I’m crazy. He would be like,
"Why don't you get in the box, and I'll drive."
Best Places To Live
The United Nations has completed its report on the best places to live
according to human development standards. Here are the top 10:
Norway, Australia, Iceland, Canada, Ireland, Netherlands, Sweden,
France and Switzerland. The worst places to live: Guinea-Bissau,
Burundi, Chad, Congo, Burkina Faso, Mali, Central African Republic,
Sierra Leone, Afghanistan and Niger. The United States is no. 13.
The criteria are based on life expectancy, literacy rates, school
enrolment and economy. Previously, Afghanistan was so bad that it
wasn’t even on the list until this year.
Dang. And I was totally just about to move to Sierra Leone. The
roving band of child soldiers brainwashed to murder, rape and pillage
across the country wasn’t a deterring factor at all.
roving band of child soldiers brainwashed to murder, rape and pillage
across the country wasn’t a deterring factor at all.
Forget the Apple, Bring TP instead
Some students in Ireland are being asked to forget about an apple for
the teacher, instead, they should bring their own roll of toilet
paper. The school’s budget is sorely depleted and administrators say
this move will help the school cut costs and save money. Half of the
students showed up to class with their own butt wipes, but the other
half didn’t. Their families are already struggling to pay schoolbooks
(which don’t come with the price of education) and the uniforms
required to send the kiddies to school.
Next they will ask the students to bring their own desks and chairs,
since damn near everything else is student-provided. After that,
parents will be asked to pay a portion of the teachers’ salaries. Oh
wait, we already do, in the form of taxes. I was appalled when the
kid came home with his school supply list and half of the “supplies”
were things for the teacher. I swear I saw a Macbook on the list.
Yeah, I don’t think so.
since damn near everything else is student-provided. After that,
parents will be asked to pay a portion of the teachers’ salaries. Oh
wait, we already do, in the form of taxes. I was appalled when the
kid came home with his school supply list and half of the “supplies”
were things for the teacher. I swear I saw a Macbook on the list.
Yeah, I don’t think so.
Today’s Thought
There are plenty of fools in the world; but if they had not been sent
for some wise purpose, they wouldn't have been here; and since they
are here they have as good a right to have elbow-room in the world as
the wisest. — Susan Edmonstone Ferrier
Monday, October 5, 2009
A Music Review: Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel
Because I have always been a loyal Mariah Carey fan, I knew I had to get her Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel the minute it hit the stores. I've been in love with Mariah Carey since I was 11 years old when she put out her self-titled debut. I was telling the kid that when my sister and I bought that ... tape... yes, tape, with our pitiful allowance, we used to hold "concerts" in the upstairs hallway with the vacuum cleaner as a microphone.
Back in the day when such hits as "I Don't Want to Cry" and "Vanishing" used to make you sit there and be like, "Damn..." even if you are only 11. You may not know exactly what she's talking about because you haven't experienced it yet, but you know that it's something emotional, something powerful to make a person sing with such depth.
Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel evokes no such reaction from me. In fact, this entire album is garbage. Mariah, what have you done to yourself? I played your first album so much the tape popped. When you released Emotions, nobody couldn't tell me I wasn't going to be the next Mariah Carey. I would be in the bathroom singing my life away, pretending I could hit all those high notes but really I was just screeching, especially the notes at the end of "Can't Let Go." My mother threatened to whoop me if I didn't be quiet. Music Box was another great album with all those wonderful ballads. You made me want to be a singer.
In 1995, I was a sophomore when Daydream came out. It wasn't as good as your first three albums, but still I could not complain. I was in my early goth phase when you released Butterfly in 1997. Rainbow kind of disappointed me and you ruined my life with Glitter. I was prepared to abandon you forever after Charmbracelet because I couldn't find a single track to pretend to. Somebody gave me an iPod and I made a Mariah Carey playlist with all my favourite sing-a-long songs, the songs that had me pretending that I had a voice as good as yours. Sorry to say that none of your songs from Charmbracelet made it into the list. When I heard you were going to release Emancipation of Mimi, I almost didn't bother.
But you came back and I was so proud of you. E=MC2 was pretty good too, but I figured you were back from whatever crazy house you were living in after you made Glitter. After Emancipation, I felt like you could do no wrong: until this disaster.
Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel is Glitter's follow-up album, instead of a reprisal of your "comeback" Emancipation. Glitter was an abomination. Memoirs is a crime against humanity. Mariah, you know I don't like the hip hop, and even if I did, why did you feel like you have to go this route? You are one of the greatest female artists of all times. You are the number one selling female artist. You actually have real talent. You are not Britney Spears or Beyonce. You do not have to be contrived in order to sell albums. So I ask again, wwhat have you done to yourself? What is this? Do you really expect me, a loyal fan, to listen to this trite garbage and enjoy it? No, I don't think so, Mariah. You should be ashamed of yourself that you allowed this atrocity to even come out the studio.
First of all, you are 39 years old. Why are you on the cover of your album, airbrushed to death, in a stretched out wife beater? But that doesn't even have anything to do with the actual content of this mess. Let's break it down.
Betcha Gon Know-- That's not even proper English. You are not ghetto, Mariah. I think I could live with the hip hop beat if you actually sang this song instead of trying to rap it. Trash.
Obsessed-- I think this is the song that's on the radio, but since I don't listen to the radio I don't know. Why is your voice AUTO-TUNED!!!! Has your voice degraded that much that you have to resort to Britney Spears tactics?
HATEU-- I kind of like this song... kind of, but you aren't really singing but wispy breathing into a microphone like you've just run a mile and you're out of breath. I would probably listen to this while committing suicide.
Candy Bling-- First of all, the title... Candy Bling. CANDY BLING. Another song where you don't really sing. A disappointment.
Ribbon-- The main reason this song is annoying is because of that weird voice in the background. It sounds like Mike Jones on crack. Once again, Mariah, why is your voice autotuned?
Inseperable-- This song wasn't horrible, but you could've put more effort into it. You have--had--such a strong voice, and you really could have sung this song but you didn't. Why?
Standing O-- This song is just entirely too hip-hoppy for me. I didn't enjoy it at all. I can't even stand to listen to it.
It's a Wrap-- What's with the weird screeching in the background?
Up Out My Face-- I couldn't even bring myself to listen to a song called Up Out My Face. Seriously, Up Out My Face? Up Out My Face, Mariah. Just listen to that, say it slowly: Up. Out. My. Face.
Up Out My Face-- And then you had the nerve to reprise it.
More Than Just Friends-- Another Carey Rap = CRAP.
The Impossible-- Breathy, wispy, no real singing.
Angels Cry-- Other reviewers said this was the one song that was decent, but I felt like she didn't sing this song like she's sung other songs. Mariah, I don't like what you've become. This could have been great.
Languishing-- Why didn't you make a full length of this? This had potential.
I Want to Know What Love Is-- I used to consider any song you remade to be better than the original because your voice was the truth, but sadly, Foreigner blows you away on this. You ruined a classic. I never thought I'd say that about you, Mariah.
And then you had the nerve to do include like four different remixes of that abomination Obsessed.
I give this album a D-. You're lucky I didn't give you an F, but you're Mariah Carey and that's why you lucked out. I would not recommend it to my worst enemy. I would probably use this a a torture tactic at Gitmo, force the detainees to listen to your breathy gasping for hours on end until they told me their deepest darkest secrets.
I told you not to play with me, Mariah. Gone are the days when I used to accept anything you gave me. You now how to prove yourself to me. I don't know if it's because you're messing with that infant Nick Cannon or because you really have lost your mind, but you need to call Walter Afanaseiff up and beg his forgiveness. Whoever writes your songs needs to be dragged out behind a shed and shot. These trite, insignificant lyrics are beneath you. If your voice has degraded then you should capitalise on the fact that you still have talent and you can still sing better than Beyonce, Rihanna and all these other hoes. You also need to realise that you are not them and they are not your competition. These children were in braces and knee socks when you cut your first number one.
Oh, Mariah, what the hell am I going to do with you? You've failed me.
Back in the day when such hits as "I Don't Want to Cry" and "Vanishing" used to make you sit there and be like, "Damn..." even if you are only 11. You may not know exactly what she's talking about because you haven't experienced it yet, but you know that it's something emotional, something powerful to make a person sing with such depth.
Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel evokes no such reaction from me. In fact, this entire album is garbage. Mariah, what have you done to yourself? I played your first album so much the tape popped. When you released Emotions, nobody couldn't tell me I wasn't going to be the next Mariah Carey. I would be in the bathroom singing my life away, pretending I could hit all those high notes but really I was just screeching, especially the notes at the end of "Can't Let Go." My mother threatened to whoop me if I didn't be quiet. Music Box was another great album with all those wonderful ballads. You made me want to be a singer.
In 1995, I was a sophomore when Daydream came out. It wasn't as good as your first three albums, but still I could not complain. I was in my early goth phase when you released Butterfly in 1997. Rainbow kind of disappointed me and you ruined my life with Glitter. I was prepared to abandon you forever after Charmbracelet because I couldn't find a single track to pretend to. Somebody gave me an iPod and I made a Mariah Carey playlist with all my favourite sing-a-long songs, the songs that had me pretending that I had a voice as good as yours. Sorry to say that none of your songs from Charmbracelet made it into the list. When I heard you were going to release Emancipation of Mimi, I almost didn't bother.
But you came back and I was so proud of you. E=MC2 was pretty good too, but I figured you were back from whatever crazy house you were living in after you made Glitter. After Emancipation, I felt like you could do no wrong: until this disaster.
Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel is Glitter's follow-up album, instead of a reprisal of your "comeback" Emancipation. Glitter was an abomination. Memoirs is a crime against humanity. Mariah, you know I don't like the hip hop, and even if I did, why did you feel like you have to go this route? You are one of the greatest female artists of all times. You are the number one selling female artist. You actually have real talent. You are not Britney Spears or Beyonce. You do not have to be contrived in order to sell albums. So I ask again, wwhat have you done to yourself? What is this? Do you really expect me, a loyal fan, to listen to this trite garbage and enjoy it? No, I don't think so, Mariah. You should be ashamed of yourself that you allowed this atrocity to even come out the studio.
First of all, you are 39 years old. Why are you on the cover of your album, airbrushed to death, in a stretched out wife beater? But that doesn't even have anything to do with the actual content of this mess. Let's break it down.
Betcha Gon Know-- That's not even proper English. You are not ghetto, Mariah. I think I could live with the hip hop beat if you actually sang this song instead of trying to rap it. Trash.
Obsessed-- I think this is the song that's on the radio, but since I don't listen to the radio I don't know. Why is your voice AUTO-TUNED!!!! Has your voice degraded that much that you have to resort to Britney Spears tactics?
HATEU-- I kind of like this song... kind of, but you aren't really singing but wispy breathing into a microphone like you've just run a mile and you're out of breath. I would probably listen to this while committing suicide.
Candy Bling-- First of all, the title... Candy Bling. CANDY BLING. Another song where you don't really sing. A disappointment.
Ribbon-- The main reason this song is annoying is because of that weird voice in the background. It sounds like Mike Jones on crack. Once again, Mariah, why is your voice autotuned?
Inseperable-- This song wasn't horrible, but you could've put more effort into it. You have--had--such a strong voice, and you really could have sung this song but you didn't. Why?
Standing O-- This song is just entirely too hip-hoppy for me. I didn't enjoy it at all. I can't even stand to listen to it.
It's a Wrap-- What's with the weird screeching in the background?
Up Out My Face-- I couldn't even bring myself to listen to a song called Up Out My Face. Seriously, Up Out My Face? Up Out My Face, Mariah. Just listen to that, say it slowly: Up. Out. My. Face.
Up Out My Face-- And then you had the nerve to reprise it.
More Than Just Friends-- Another Carey Rap = CRAP.
The Impossible-- Breathy, wispy, no real singing.
Angels Cry-- Other reviewers said this was the one song that was decent, but I felt like she didn't sing this song like she's sung other songs. Mariah, I don't like what you've become. This could have been great.
Languishing-- Why didn't you make a full length of this? This had potential.
I Want to Know What Love Is-- I used to consider any song you remade to be better than the original because your voice was the truth, but sadly, Foreigner blows you away on this. You ruined a classic. I never thought I'd say that about you, Mariah.
And then you had the nerve to do include like four different remixes of that abomination Obsessed.
I give this album a D-. You're lucky I didn't give you an F, but you're Mariah Carey and that's why you lucked out. I would not recommend it to my worst enemy. I would probably use this a a torture tactic at Gitmo, force the detainees to listen to your breathy gasping for hours on end until they told me their deepest darkest secrets.
I told you not to play with me, Mariah. Gone are the days when I used to accept anything you gave me. You now how to prove yourself to me. I don't know if it's because you're messing with that infant Nick Cannon or because you really have lost your mind, but you need to call Walter Afanaseiff up and beg his forgiveness. Whoever writes your songs needs to be dragged out behind a shed and shot. These trite, insignificant lyrics are beneath you. If your voice has degraded then you should capitalise on the fact that you still have talent and you can still sing better than Beyonce, Rihanna and all these other hoes. You also need to realise that you are not them and they are not your competition. These children were in braces and knee socks when you cut your first number one.
Oh, Mariah, what the hell am I going to do with you? You've failed me.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Why Do I Get To Be Hyphenated?
How come if you’re not white you have to be a hyphenised something? Like, why am I stupidly referred to as an African-American? Why is the lady that cleans my house a Hispanic-American? Why is the girl who does my nails referred to as Asian even though she was born here and so were her parents and grandparents?
What am I talking about, you ask?
Okay, so, I was just on CNN.com and the question asks whether those that fit in the category would rather be called Latino or Hispanic. I only read about 10 responses, but the majority of them were like, “I would rather just be called American.” There were a few people who tried to incorrectly explain the difference between Hispanic and Latino, and then there was one guy who said he was Latino and some other girl who said she was Hispanic.
But, responses to surveys like these are usually lopsided because, if you think about it, who responds to CNN surveys? Moderately educated people who read a lot and pay attention to the news. Maria Vega, your average chola probably doesn’t log onto CNN everyday. Same with LeRoy Jackson from the corner, Gong Li from the nail shop and Bobbi Jo from the trailer park down the street.
Several comments jumped out at me. Several people asked why do I have to either be a Hispanic-American or Latino-American? Why can’t I just be an American?
I’ve asked myself this question all the time. Why do I have to be an African-American? This term annoys me so much. It’s such a senseless ignorant term and so many people who use it don’t even realise it.
African-American. Just listen to the sound of it. AFRICAN-AMERICAN.
Half of us are still confused as to Africa’s state. It’s a continent, not a goddamn country. So to everyone going around calling themselves African-American, what are you trying to say? Are you trying to tell me where you and your people are from? If so, you still haven’t really told me. That doesn’t really identify you since there are so many damn tribes and countries in Africa. You can’t just lump them all together like they’re the same thing. What about the Egyptians and Algerians and Moroccans? They’re African nations too, but people who come here from those nations don’t refer to themselves as African-American.
Secondly, the vast majority of people who use this term are like 8th generation. I’m exaggerating, but seriously, look at it like this: unless you, your parents or your grandparents just got off the boat, you aren’t really [Insert name of African country here]-American. You’re an American, period, dot-com.
Moreover, some people who use this term don’t even know which tribes/countries of Africa their family has descended from. Yeah, yeah, I know our history is muddled because of the slave trade and all that, but if you really wanted to know you could try to find something. It would take a monumental effort and a whole lot of money, but you would find out something about your family’s history, at least enough to figure out the general region you came from.
Having said all that, why are people still using this ridiculous term? Even more, why do we have to be hyphenated anything?
The Hispanics and Latinos are asking themselves the same question. They’ve been here, their parents have been here and their grandparents have been here for years and years and years. All their children, even though they are named Jose, Maria and Julio, don’t speak a lick of Spanish, go to school in suburban Hartford, Connecticut, but they still have to be referred to as Latino or Hispanic.
First of all, just like we need clarification on “Africa,” we also need clarification on “Latino.”
All Hispanics are Latino, but not all Latinos are Hispanic. Latin/Latino refers to everything descended from the Latin language. Italian, French, Spanish, and Romanian are all Latino. Let’s not forget all the random side languages like Catalan and Bolognese. How come nobody is going around asking French-speaking Americans if they want to be called Latin-American?
Why aren’t white people referred to in the same way? Why aren’t they French-American? Irish-American? Scots-American? Welsh-American? Or whatever European Country They Came From-American?
Why do we have to be sub-categorised and white people don’t? And don’t think this is some kind of random racism, because we minorities started this crap up long before the white people did. Oh, we just had to make sure that they knew we’re from the Mother Land.
LIKE THEY CAN’T TELL JUST BY LOOKING AT US!!
White people are like, well, damn, nobody wants to be politically incorrect these days, so if you want to be African-American or whatever, we’ll call you that. Never mind how stupid it sounds.
I guess some of us feel like we need to have an identity when we really already have one, but for some reason or another we’re disconnected it from. Whether it’s by outside forces, or internal ones, some of us don’t feel like regular ole Americans.
Like I’ve said many times, I feel like racism and segregation are often perpetuated by our own stupidity, not necessarily white oppression. That doesn’t mean I don’t think some white people aren’t racist; I just happen to think that minorities segregate themselves by trying so hard to identify themselves as an entirely separate group.
Yeah, we are different. This much is obvious just by taking a look around, but if you were born here, immigrated here and want to live here forever and ever amen, and your parents were born here and so were your grandparents, you’re a GODDAMN AMERICAN and not a hyphenated anything.
That doesn’t mean forget about where your people came from and all your ancestral traditions. No, not by any means am I advocating this, but stop coming up with stupid labels to segregate yourselves and then start crying when you feel like nobody is including you.
You excluded yourself.
What am I talking about, you ask?
Okay, so, I was just on CNN.com and the question asks whether those that fit in the category would rather be called Latino or Hispanic. I only read about 10 responses, but the majority of them were like, “I would rather just be called American.” There were a few people who tried to incorrectly explain the difference between Hispanic and Latino, and then there was one guy who said he was Latino and some other girl who said she was Hispanic.
But, responses to surveys like these are usually lopsided because, if you think about it, who responds to CNN surveys? Moderately educated people who read a lot and pay attention to the news. Maria Vega, your average chola probably doesn’t log onto CNN everyday. Same with LeRoy Jackson from the corner, Gong Li from the nail shop and Bobbi Jo from the trailer park down the street.
Several comments jumped out at me. Several people asked why do I have to either be a Hispanic-American or Latino-American? Why can’t I just be an American?
I’ve asked myself this question all the time. Why do I have to be an African-American? This term annoys me so much. It’s such a senseless ignorant term and so many people who use it don’t even realise it.
African-American. Just listen to the sound of it. AFRICAN-AMERICAN.
Half of us are still confused as to Africa’s state. It’s a continent, not a goddamn country. So to everyone going around calling themselves African-American, what are you trying to say? Are you trying to tell me where you and your people are from? If so, you still haven’t really told me. That doesn’t really identify you since there are so many damn tribes and countries in Africa. You can’t just lump them all together like they’re the same thing. What about the Egyptians and Algerians and Moroccans? They’re African nations too, but people who come here from those nations don’t refer to themselves as African-American.
Secondly, the vast majority of people who use this term are like 8th generation. I’m exaggerating, but seriously, look at it like this: unless you, your parents or your grandparents just got off the boat, you aren’t really [Insert name of African country here]-American. You’re an American, period, dot-com.
Moreover, some people who use this term don’t even know which tribes/countries of Africa their family has descended from. Yeah, yeah, I know our history is muddled because of the slave trade and all that, but if you really wanted to know you could try to find something. It would take a monumental effort and a whole lot of money, but you would find out something about your family’s history, at least enough to figure out the general region you came from.
Having said all that, why are people still using this ridiculous term? Even more, why do we have to be hyphenated anything?
The Hispanics and Latinos are asking themselves the same question. They’ve been here, their parents have been here and their grandparents have been here for years and years and years. All their children, even though they are named Jose, Maria and Julio, don’t speak a lick of Spanish, go to school in suburban Hartford, Connecticut, but they still have to be referred to as Latino or Hispanic.
First of all, just like we need clarification on “Africa,” we also need clarification on “Latino.”
All Hispanics are Latino, but not all Latinos are Hispanic. Latin/Latino refers to everything descended from the Latin language. Italian, French, Spanish, and Romanian are all Latino. Let’s not forget all the random side languages like Catalan and Bolognese. How come nobody is going around asking French-speaking Americans if they want to be called Latin-American?
Why aren’t white people referred to in the same way? Why aren’t they French-American? Irish-American? Scots-American? Welsh-American? Or whatever European Country They Came From-American?
Why do we have to be sub-categorised and white people don’t? And don’t think this is some kind of random racism, because we minorities started this crap up long before the white people did. Oh, we just had to make sure that they knew we’re from the Mother Land.
LIKE THEY CAN’T TELL JUST BY LOOKING AT US!!
White people are like, well, damn, nobody wants to be politically incorrect these days, so if you want to be African-American or whatever, we’ll call you that. Never mind how stupid it sounds.
I guess some of us feel like we need to have an identity when we really already have one, but for some reason or another we’re disconnected it from. Whether it’s by outside forces, or internal ones, some of us don’t feel like regular ole Americans.
Like I’ve said many times, I feel like racism and segregation are often perpetuated by our own stupidity, not necessarily white oppression. That doesn’t mean I don’t think some white people aren’t racist; I just happen to think that minorities segregate themselves by trying so hard to identify themselves as an entirely separate group.
Yeah, we are different. This much is obvious just by taking a look around, but if you were born here, immigrated here and want to live here forever and ever amen, and your parents were born here and so were your grandparents, you’re a GODDAMN AMERICAN and not a hyphenated anything.
That doesn’t mean forget about where your people came from and all your ancestral traditions. No, not by any means am I advocating this, but stop coming up with stupid labels to segregate yourselves and then start crying when you feel like nobody is including you.
You excluded yourself.
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