It is most unfortunate that I am not permitted to bring a camera or any other recording device to work with me because you all surely would have had endless hours of amusement with the two train wrecks I see walking around my building on a daily basis.
Perhaps I am not the most fashion forward person out there. Maybe I'm a little eccentric in my preference for all black like I'm on my way to a funeral. If you do not care for my mode of dress, that's perfectly fine, but at least I can say I am never unprofessional in what ever black skirt or black dress I have on.
What should you not wear to work?
Let's see.
Maybe you shouldn't show up to work in a pair of ragged fishnets that look like they were run through a paper shredder then given to two cats to fight over while tied up in some razor wire. Can they at least be the right size instead of bagging around your knees like you just fell out of a port-a-potty in mid-stream. You should also forget about the plastic knee high boots whose heels are so worn down they look like door stops. I also think you should give back the backless, skin tight black dress you borrowed from Elvira. Never mind the fact that it's 51 degrees out, but instead, we'll focus on how the dress is two sizes too small.
Sorry, but Spanky's is too blocks up on the left. You're at the wrong building, honey.
Seriously.
But how about the other woman I see frequently wearing her pathetic attempts at creativity. Yes, I know Hallowe'en is approaching, but do you really have to show up to work in a sweater that looks like you fell into the yarn bin at Joanne Fabrics with 1001 jack-o-lanterns sewn onto it?
That was Friday. Today she had on some baggy leather pants with giant safety pins threaded up the sides and a hoodie that didn't just have a regular hood, but a witch hat. She walked around the building for the better part of the day with a witch hat hoodie. I didn't even know they made something like that.
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