Daily News December 23

Today is Wednesday, December 23, 2009. It is the 357th day of the year with eight more to go.

Today’s History

In 1783, George Washington resigned as commander in chief of the Continental Army and retired to his home at Mount Vernon, VA.
In 1823, the poem “Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas” was published anonymously in New York. We know it as “’Twas the Night Before Christmas.”

Today’s News

Charity Begins At Home
A fifth grade boy from Indiana was obviously in the giving Christmas spirit when he handed out about $300 to his classmates while riding the bus to school. The kids who received the money reported to teachers that the boy was seen with a large sum of cash. When the police arrived, they found the boy with approximately $10,000 that he had taken from his grandparents’ safe. The police have no idea how the boy got into the safe and what he truly intended to do with the money.

Yeah, let one of the kids in my family bust up into my safe and start handing out MY hard-earned money. Ass whooping!

Coffee and a Steak Knife
A Michigan wandered into a diner and calmly ordered a cup of coffee even though he clearly had a knife protruding from his chest. The man had been walking through a park when another man attempted to rob him. When he refused to give the robber any money, he was stabbed in the chest with a 5 inch steak knife. The knife went in so deeply that only the plastic handle showed. The robber ran off and the man tried to get help from a nearby apartment complex. When no help could be found there, he went to a pay phone and called 911. He told the operator that he had been stabbed and then told her that he was going over to the diner to wait for the ambulance because it was too cold to stand outside. The diner was more than half a mile away. The man walked into the diner, sat down and ordered a cup of coffee and waited until the ambulance arrived. The man is now recovering.

I guess he figured there was no point in carrying on. At least he had the good sense to get out of the cold while he waited for the ambulance. It’s cold up there in Michigan this time of year.

Hello, 911? My Son is an Addict
Not a coke addict, or an alcoholic, but a video game addict. A Boston mother called 911 to say that she could not get her 14 year old son to stop playing video games. It was after 2 in the morning when she called saying that she wanted the kid to turn the game off and go to bed. She said that he was wandering around the house and turning all the lights on. Police arrived and persuaded the boy to listen to his mother and he eventually turned the game off and went to bed. The boy had been playing Grand Theft Auto.

Okay, so I know some parents do not want to beat their children. That’s perfectly fine. Although I believe if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. If you don’t like that, here’s what you do. When you tell little Johnny time to turn the game off and get his ass in bed and he don’t listen, you repeat yourself one more time just to ensure that he heard you. If he still does not acknowledge you, then you calmly walk over to the XBOX or PS3, you rip it out the wall and throw it out the window. Turn the lights off. “Good night.” Very simple. No need for police presence.

Ball-Buster
A 54 year old Minnesota woman is being held while authorities decide whether or not to charge her with domestic assault, third-degree assault and interfering with a 911 call for grabbing a man’s balls so hard he needed stitches. The report alleges the man and woman got into a domestic dispute when she grabbed his genitals hard enough to tear. When the police arrived, the man showed them the tear. The woman claims that he cut himself. The man had to have several stitches.

Dang, she got that G.I. Joe Kung Fu grip! All she did was grab them and they ripped. Either she is a beast or he got some sensitive stuff going on down there.

Today’s Thought

You can always spot a well-informed man—his views are the same as yours. ~Ilka Chase