The Afronista Rants #6: I Don't Always Have to Bash

Since I am always saying cruel and unusual things to bring people down, I thought I might end the year on a more positive note, by praising someone for doing something good. It is rare that I compliment people or give them their propers for a job well-done, particuarly black people, especially those of the hip hop variety. Occasionally, however, my arrogant self-righteousness swells to such great heights that I am ruptured by the sharpness of my own tongue, thus bringing me back to earth for a few seconds, before I start swelling up again.

At any rate, I have to give credit where credit is due to Mr. Sean “Diddy,” “Puffy, “Puff,” “Puff Daddy,” “P. Diddy,” “Whatever You Are Calling Yourself” Coombs. He has teamed up with Ciroc Vodka company to offer drunks and alcoholics a ride home this New Year’s Eve. Although I do not drink and don’t like Puffy, Diddy, Puff, whateves, I have to say this is a really good thing going on here.

He has offered to be your designated driver this New Year by offering debit cards and vouchers for free cab rides home in New York City and Las Vegas. You can get a $15 debit card good for use on participating taxis and limousines in both cities. In New York you can also get a free one-way subway voucher. Street teams will be handing out these cards in New York between 8PM and 11PM New Year’s Eve and in Las Vegas you can get them at various distribution points.

I know it’s probably a publicity stunt, some marketing effort, but I’m willing to overlook that because he is using his celebrity for something that is actually real and important. Not saying the whales off the coast of … wherever… aren’t important or the starving children in Ethernopia, but I’m tired of celebrities going overseas to solve world hunger when we have so many problems right here in America. Why battle the courts in Malawi for one moon-eyed infant whose father doesn’t even want to give her up when you could help these American children right here who are bombarded with “you suck” everyday because they see people who have so much more then they do. Everybody in Malawi is poor; the poor orphan in America feels it even worse when he goes to school with kids who are pushed around in Mercedes baby carriages.

Also, very few black celebrities, besides Oprah, ever do anything for anybody. I’m sure there are some, but what black celebrity do you know that’s using his fame and fortune for a cause? I’m really thinking, but I can’t come up with one. If you know, be sure to inform me. At any rate, Puff Puff is amazingly popular. He is a well-known face all across the world. He is also setting a better example to young black men around here. I like that he has cleaned himself up from just some rapper to an entrepreneur. Now he is an entrepereneur who is actually doing something worthwhile with all that money, power and respect he’s garnered over the years. I have never really liked Mr. Puff, but I think the world wouldn’t be as horrible a place if it were a little more P. Diddy and a lot less Lil Wayne.

Drunk driving is a big problem in the United States. Last year, 37% of all driving accidents had to do with alcohol. On average, one person dies every 45 minutes because of an alcohol-related accident. Almost 2 million people are arrested every year for drunk driving, and those who are being arrested for the first time have already driven drunk at least 87 times before that, bringing the national average of drunk driving occurences (without accidents, arrests, etc) to 159 million per year. So basically every time you get out on the road, somebody around you is drunk.

I hate drunk driving; I hate people who drive drunk, tipsy, slightly woozie, whatever. I hate people who say, “I drive better when I’m drunk,” or “I never have a problem driving drunk.” People are too lazy, too cheap, too whatever to find another way home after a night of drinking. What makes me so mad is that people spend hours trying to figure out what to wear for a night of partying, but don’t even give a thought to, “How will I get home?” Most people don’t even think drinking and driving is all that serious, until it happens to them or someone they know.

I don’t know anybody that’s been killed by a drunk driver, thankfully. I’ve never been in an alcohol related crash, and I hope I’m not ever.

Since I will be partying in Vegas this year, I appreciate Mr. Diddy for giving out these free debit cards to keep alcohol-soused losers from plowing into me while I dance my life away on Las Vegas Boulevard. The sad part is that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t get him to drink (no pun intended). Most people think, “How will I get my car in the morning?” instead of “What will do I when I kill someone?”

Mr. Puffy, you did good on this one. Even if you just wanted to throw your name out there, you had the good business acumen to see that this is something that actually makes sense and it might save someone’s life. Thank you for being a smart black man and at least knowing how to use your celebrity for something that isn’t lame. Please continue to do more things like this, and talk to your fellow black celebrities and let them know they should do it too.

And not in Cambodia, but here.

In America.