Snowmaggedon #5: Free At Last

…free at last…
…free at last…
…Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last…

Seriously.

So, yesterday afternoon, for the first time EVER in the history of this winter season, a snow plow came down my street. It’s a bloody miracle! It was becoming quite dangerous to even traverse the thing. We were down to half a lane and without any room to pull over to the side to allow another car to come through. It was getting to the point where two cars would sit at either ends of the block, staring each other down, wondering which one would back up first. Even the big trucks were getting stuck in the deep drifts. Everyone was sliding around on the two inch thick layer of permafrost that covered the street.

I’m a practical person, and I knew it’ll be some time before we all get back to normal, but I refused to believe that Prince George’s County was going to completely abandon us. I was hopeful that one of these days, even if it is May 12, someone would show up and clear a path on my block. I have a feeling the only reason they did it is because they have to get waste management through and the postal service. If they had left it, there wouldn’t be trash pick up until July and the post office wouldn’t be able to deliver mail until next August. I had a brief hallucination of the postman blocking up the street for half an hour while he delivered mail. The sad part is that none of the mailboxes were visible because they were all covered in snow, and secondly the street is only one lane. Where would the mailman pull off so he could do his round? The trash truck would get stuck with no place to turn around. We haven’t had mail service or trash pick up since… I don’t know… I know we haven’t had either all last week.

I arrive to work this morning after having been off for 10 days. I got the shaft from my company. No pay for every day I wasn’t supposed to be off. It’s really crappy but since I’m not exactly hurting for money, I won’t cry too much. It’s just the principle of the whole thing. It was entirely too dangerous to be out on the road but yet somehow someone managed to make it in each day to open up HQ so we would have a place to work. What’s that all about? At any rate, parking over here is a disaster area. Parking isn’t usually bad at my location, but there’s just no place to put all this damn snow. Half of the back of the lot is full of snow. There are six foot high snow piles on the edge of sidewalks that will probably fall into the street once things get melting. I expect avalanches soon.

I wonder where they put all the snow. There was already some pretty sizeable snow mountains in random parking lots across the area because of the big snow in December. That stuff hadn’t melted, not to mention all the “minor” snows we’ve had in between. People are so focused on the mega snow that they don’t even remember those 5 inch snow we’ve had. Remember when five inches used to be like… oh my God, now it’s like… whateves…

A co-worker said that they were putting the snow in the Potomac. I don’t know if I believe that, but just in case… is that safe? Won’t that cause like some kind of flooding problem or desalination… global warming… I don’t know what I’m talking about, just repeating things (and not very well) that I’ve heard on TV. When the snow plow came to my street, all he did was scoop the snow out the street and dump it into people’s yards. Mt. Everest is erupting from my front yard. Seriously, it is a mega pile of snow there.

Well, I guess we are all back to work now. No more fun and games. I predict that we’ll get another healthy snow before the season is out and I also think we’re going to have a rainy gross spring and hot, muggy gross summer. I don’t know anything about climate change or global warming or whatever, but I don’t understand where people have this set in stone idea that global warming means only hotter temperatures. I think it means like some kind of disruption in the natural flow of things. So we’ll have bizarre hot summers and freakishly snowy cold winters in places where you don’t even get snow like that. Cuz if you look at it, if you minus the snow, it has been FRIGID this winter.

But that’s just my unprofessional opinion.