Senseless Scribbling of an Idiot #31: Too Fat To Fly

Why am I the only one who doesn’t seem to understand what the problem is? I am so confused as to why this is such a hot topic. Is it because we’re a sensitive folk and don’t like being told we’re too fat, too this, too that? Is it because we don’t appreciate the attention pointed at the obvious? I just don’t get it.

I read this article just now about Kevin Smith, the director who was booted from a Southwest Airlines flight because he was allegedly too fat to fit into an airline seat. I am not entirely sure of the correct story. Apparently, he flew one way without any problem, but the other way, he was suddenly too fat. I seemed to get conflicting stories. It seemed like one way he bought TWO seats but the other way he wasn’t able to buy two seats, but somehow the arm rests were able to come down, or something. You know what? Who cares what the precise story is? Let’s just look at the main issue of being too fat to fly.

Why is this an issue? If you’re too fat to fly, you’re just too fat. Why can’t people get it in their brains? Look, I am a moderate sized girl. I wouldn’t call myself fat, but I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as thin. At this point, I do not need two seats, but should I ever double in size, I don’t see what the big problem is requiring me to buy two seats so I could comfortably fit my fat ass. Granted, it’s expensive, but so is flying on the whole. Is that the problem? Are you mad because you need two seats: one for the left cheek and one for the right? I think if I got that fat, I wouldn’t fly anymore because it’s already bloody uncomfortable, even if you are thin.

I am confused by the fat people of America. And if you’re offended by my use of the word fat, please get over it. That’s what you are, whether it’s health reasons, or because you like being fat, or you can’t help being fat–whatever the reason, you’re fat if your body exceeds certain parameters. What I’m not saying is that fat is ugly, or fat is unhealthful, or fat is that, or whatever. I am not making a judgement on what I think about being fat. This is NOT that type of blog (I’ll save that for later). I’m only talking about the actual physical presence of being fat.

Anyway, I was saying that I was confused by the fat people of America. Some people who are fat don’t think there is anything wrong with them. They are happy with the way they look, and they are tired of skinny people telling them they are unhealthy, unhappy, un-whatever. If you’re so happy with being fat, why aren’t you happy buying two seats?

Then there’s the group of people who say they are fat because of some kind of health reason, like thyroid or something. They say they cannot help being fat and people should stop picking on them. I agree; however, you have accepted that you are fat, so you should accept that you need two seats. I cannot help that I am a midget. I still have to go out and buy stools and booster seats and all other manner of humiliating tools to make me feel taller so I can reach the lightbulbs or the kitchen counter tops. It’s a fact of life!

What I have yet to hear is a VALID argument as to why fat people should not be forced to buy two seats. If your body exceeds the parameters of the airline seats and you are not encroaching on another PAID customer’s seat, why don’t you think you should buy two seats? Why? I really want to know. I have been on airplanes where the person next to me is so fat that they spilled over into my seat forcing my flight to be even more uncomfortable than it already is. If you don’t have to pay for two seats, than I should only have to pay for half of mine since that’s all I’m using.

I once bitched about this in another blog and someone commented that if I didn’t like it I shouldn’t fly anymore. What? Seriously? I mean, seriously. I can fit in the seat! The fat man shouldn’t fly anymore because he’s inconveniencing everyone around him. The flight attendant felt sorry for me because there was no more room on the plane. I got up to go to the bathroom and I lingered in that little area outside the toilets for a little while, even though they don’t like you to do that these post 9/11 days.

I think all airlines should have a hard steadfast policy on the subject of fat people and how many seats they take up. They have hard steadfast policies on everything else. Have you ever tried to get the airline to waive the $75 change fee? Ain’t gonna happen.

I don’t feel sorry for Kevin Smith that he got booted off his plane. In case he didn’t realise, the airlines pretty much have the right to do whatever it is they want. You agree to that when you buy one of their overpriced air tickets. Mr. Smith handled himself classlessly (to make up my own word) by bad-mouthing the airline. He made some lame argument that his weight was used an excuse because a flight attendant did not like his movies. How ridiculous is that? He called Southwest Airlines the “welfare, foodstamp airline.” He also says he will not fly Southwest Airlines anymore, but I hope he doesn’t expect better treatment from any of the other airlines. Since he’s so deep in his pockets, why doesn’t he buy one of those lofty first class seats on one of the legacy airlines. I mean, the Southwest apologised (which they should not have), refunded his money and gave him a credit. What else does he want them to do? Put him on Weight Watchers?

I think the fact that everybody is all up in arms over this subject is kind of ridiculous. Whether you are fat by choice, genes or too many Hostess cupcakes, you have to either do something about it or live with your decision. If you want to fly, be prepared to buy two seats. If you don’t like it, rent a car and drive, or go on a diet. It’s your choice. I just wish we could get off this subject because this is the first, and hopefully the last time that I will ever defend the airlines.