Why am I the only one who doesn’t seem to understand what the problem is? I am so confused as to why this is such a hot topic. Is it because we’re a sensitive folk and don’t like being told we’re too fat, too this, too that? Is it because we don’t appreciate the attention pointed at the obvious? I just don’t get it.
I read this article just now about Kevin Smith, the director who was booted from a Southwest Airlines flight because he was allegedly too fat to fit into an airline seat. I am not entirely sure of the correct story. Apparently, he flew one way without any problem, but the other way, he was suddenly too fat. I seemed to get conflicting stories. It seemed like one way he bought TWO seats but the other way he wasn’t able to buy two seats, but somehow the arm rests were able to come down, or something. You know what? Who cares what the precise story is? Let’s just look at the main issue of being too fat to fly.
Why is this an issue? If you’re too fat to fly, you’re just too fat. Why can’t people get it in their brains? Look, I am a moderate sized girl. I wouldn’t call myself fat, but I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as thin. At this point, I do not need two seats, but should I ever double in size, I don’t see what the big problem is requiring me to buy two seats so I could comfortably fit my fat ass. Granted, it’s expensive, but so is flying on the whole. Is that the problem? Are you mad because you need two seats: one for the left cheek and one for the right? I think if I got that fat, I wouldn’t fly anymore because it’s already bloody uncomfortable, even if you are thin.
I am confused by the fat people of America. And if you’re offended by my use of the word fat, please get over it. That’s what you are, whether it’s health reasons, or because you like being fat, or you can’t help being fat–whatever the reason, you’re fat if your body exceeds certain parameters. What I’m not saying is that fat is ugly, or fat is unhealthful, or fat is that, or whatever. I am not making a judgement on what I think about being fat. This is NOT that type of blog (I’ll save that for later). I’m only talking about the actual physical presence of being fat.
Anyway, I was saying that I was confused by the fat people of America. Some people who are fat don’t think there is anything wrong with them. They are happy with the way they look, and they are tired of skinny people telling them they are unhealthy, unhappy, un-whatever. If you’re so happy with being fat, why aren’t you happy buying two seats?
Then there’s the group of people who say they are fat because of some kind of health reason, like thyroid or something. They say they cannot help being fat and people should stop picking on them. I agree; however, you have accepted that you are fat, so you should accept that you need two seats. I cannot help that I am a midget. I still have to go out and buy stools and booster seats and all other manner of humiliating tools to make me feel taller so I can reach the lightbulbs or the kitchen counter tops. It’s a fact of life!
What I have yet to hear is a VALID argument as to why fat people should not be forced to buy two seats. If your body exceeds the parameters of the airline seats and you are not encroaching on another PAID customer’s seat, why don’t you think you should buy two seats? Why? I really want to know. I have been on airplanes where the person next to me is so fat that they spilled over into my seat forcing my flight to be even more uncomfortable than it already is. If you don’t have to pay for two seats, than I should only have to pay for half of mine since that’s all I’m using.
I once bitched about this in another blog and someone commented that if I didn’t like it I shouldn’t fly anymore. What? Seriously? I mean, seriously. I can fit in the seat! The fat man shouldn’t fly anymore because he’s inconveniencing everyone around him. The flight attendant felt sorry for me because there was no more room on the plane. I got up to go to the bathroom and I lingered in that little area outside the toilets for a little while, even though they don’t like you to do that these post 9/11 days.
I think all airlines should have a hard steadfast policy on the subject of fat people and how many seats they take up. They have hard steadfast policies on everything else. Have you ever tried to get the airline to waive the $75 change fee? Ain’t gonna happen.
I don’t feel sorry for Kevin Smith that he got booted off his plane. In case he didn’t realise, the airlines pretty much have the right to do whatever it is they want. You agree to that when you buy one of their overpriced air tickets. Mr. Smith handled himself classlessly (to make up my own word) by bad-mouthing the airline. He made some lame argument that his weight was used an excuse because a flight attendant did not like his movies. How ridiculous is that? He called Southwest Airlines the “welfare, foodstamp airline.” He also says he will not fly Southwest Airlines anymore, but I hope he doesn’t expect better treatment from any of the other airlines. Since he’s so deep in his pockets, why doesn’t he buy one of those lofty first class seats on one of the legacy airlines. I mean, the Southwest apologised (which they should not have), refunded his money and gave him a credit. What else does he want them to do? Put him on Weight Watchers?
I think the fact that everybody is all up in arms over this subject is kind of ridiculous. Whether you are fat by choice, genes or too many Hostess cupcakes, you have to either do something about it or live with your decision. If you want to fly, be prepared to buy two seats. If you don’t like it, rent a car and drive, or go on a diet. It’s your choice. I just wish we could get off this subject because this is the first, and hopefully the last time that I will ever defend the airlines.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Snowmaggedon #5: Free At Last
…free at last…
…free at last…
…Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last…
Seriously.
So, yesterday afternoon, for the first time EVER in the history of this winter season, a snow plow came down my street. It’s a bloody miracle! It was becoming quite dangerous to even traverse the thing. We were down to half a lane and without any room to pull over to the side to allow another car to come through. It was getting to the point where two cars would sit at either ends of the block, staring each other down, wondering which one would back up first. Even the big trucks were getting stuck in the deep drifts. Everyone was sliding around on the two inch thick layer of permafrost that covered the street.
I’m a practical person, and I knew it’ll be some time before we all get back to normal, but I refused to believe that Prince George’s County was going to completely abandon us. I was hopeful that one of these days, even if it is May 12, someone would show up and clear a path on my block. I have a feeling the only reason they did it is because they have to get waste management through and the postal service. If they had left it, there wouldn’t be trash pick up until July and the post office wouldn’t be able to deliver mail until next August. I had a brief hallucination of the postman blocking up the street for half an hour while he delivered mail. The sad part is that none of the mailboxes were visible because they were all covered in snow, and secondly the street is only one lane. Where would the mailman pull off so he could do his round? The trash truck would get stuck with no place to turn around. We haven’t had mail service or trash pick up since… I don’t know… I know we haven’t had either all last week.
I arrive to work this morning after having been off for 10 days. I got the shaft from my company. No pay for every day I wasn’t supposed to be off. It’s really crappy but since I’m not exactly hurting for money, I won’t cry too much. It’s just the principle of the whole thing. It was entirely too dangerous to be out on the road but yet somehow someone managed to make it in each day to open up HQ so we would have a place to work. What’s that all about? At any rate, parking over here is a disaster area. Parking isn’t usually bad at my location, but there’s just no place to put all this damn snow. Half of the back of the lot is full of snow. There are six foot high snow piles on the edge of sidewalks that will probably fall into the street once things get melting. I expect avalanches soon.
I wonder where they put all the snow. There was already some pretty sizeable snow mountains in random parking lots across the area because of the big snow in December. That stuff hadn’t melted, not to mention all the “minor” snows we’ve had in between. People are so focused on the mega snow that they don’t even remember those 5 inch snow we’ve had. Remember when five inches used to be like… oh my God, now it’s like… whateves…
A co-worker said that they were putting the snow in the Potomac. I don’t know if I believe that, but just in case… is that safe? Won’t that cause like some kind of flooding problem or desalination… global warming… I don’t know what I’m talking about, just repeating things (and not very well) that I’ve heard on TV. When the snow plow came to my street, all he did was scoop the snow out the street and dump it into people’s yards. Mt. Everest is erupting from my front yard. Seriously, it is a mega pile of snow there.
Well, I guess we are all back to work now. No more fun and games. I predict that we’ll get another healthy snow before the season is out and I also think we’re going to have a rainy gross spring and hot, muggy gross summer. I don’t know anything about climate change or global warming or whatever, but I don’t understand where people have this set in stone idea that global warming means only hotter temperatures. I think it means like some kind of disruption in the natural flow of things. So we’ll have bizarre hot summers and freakishly snowy cold winters in places where you don’t even get snow like that. Cuz if you look at it, if you minus the snow, it has been FRIGID this winter.
But that’s just my unprofessional opinion.
…free at last…
…Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last…
Seriously.
So, yesterday afternoon, for the first time EVER in the history of this winter season, a snow plow came down my street. It’s a bloody miracle! It was becoming quite dangerous to even traverse the thing. We were down to half a lane and without any room to pull over to the side to allow another car to come through. It was getting to the point where two cars would sit at either ends of the block, staring each other down, wondering which one would back up first. Even the big trucks were getting stuck in the deep drifts. Everyone was sliding around on the two inch thick layer of permafrost that covered the street.
I’m a practical person, and I knew it’ll be some time before we all get back to normal, but I refused to believe that Prince George’s County was going to completely abandon us. I was hopeful that one of these days, even if it is May 12, someone would show up and clear a path on my block. I have a feeling the only reason they did it is because they have to get waste management through and the postal service. If they had left it, there wouldn’t be trash pick up until July and the post office wouldn’t be able to deliver mail until next August. I had a brief hallucination of the postman blocking up the street for half an hour while he delivered mail. The sad part is that none of the mailboxes were visible because they were all covered in snow, and secondly the street is only one lane. Where would the mailman pull off so he could do his round? The trash truck would get stuck with no place to turn around. We haven’t had mail service or trash pick up since… I don’t know… I know we haven’t had either all last week.
I arrive to work this morning after having been off for 10 days. I got the shaft from my company. No pay for every day I wasn’t supposed to be off. It’s really crappy but since I’m not exactly hurting for money, I won’t cry too much. It’s just the principle of the whole thing. It was entirely too dangerous to be out on the road but yet somehow someone managed to make it in each day to open up HQ so we would have a place to work. What’s that all about? At any rate, parking over here is a disaster area. Parking isn’t usually bad at my location, but there’s just no place to put all this damn snow. Half of the back of the lot is full of snow. There are six foot high snow piles on the edge of sidewalks that will probably fall into the street once things get melting. I expect avalanches soon.
I wonder where they put all the snow. There was already some pretty sizeable snow mountains in random parking lots across the area because of the big snow in December. That stuff hadn’t melted, not to mention all the “minor” snows we’ve had in between. People are so focused on the mega snow that they don’t even remember those 5 inch snow we’ve had. Remember when five inches used to be like… oh my God, now it’s like… whateves…
A co-worker said that they were putting the snow in the Potomac. I don’t know if I believe that, but just in case… is that safe? Won’t that cause like some kind of flooding problem or desalination… global warming… I don’t know what I’m talking about, just repeating things (and not very well) that I’ve heard on TV. When the snow plow came to my street, all he did was scoop the snow out the street and dump it into people’s yards. Mt. Everest is erupting from my front yard. Seriously, it is a mega pile of snow there.
Well, I guess we are all back to work now. No more fun and games. I predict that we’ll get another healthy snow before the season is out and I also think we’re going to have a rainy gross spring and hot, muggy gross summer. I don’t know anything about climate change or global warming or whatever, but I don’t understand where people have this set in stone idea that global warming means only hotter temperatures. I think it means like some kind of disruption in the natural flow of things. So we’ll have bizarre hot summers and freakishly snowy cold winters in places where you don’t even get snow like that. Cuz if you look at it, if you minus the snow, it has been FRIGID this winter.
But that’s just my unprofessional opinion.
Today In History: Mardi Gras, Shrove Tuesday, Fat Tuesday
Today is February 16, 2010 and it is Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday, or Shrove Tuesday
Just in case you didn’t know, Mardi Gras is celebrated in other places other than New Orleans and Rio de Janiero. It is also celebrated in many different ways. For some, Mardi Gras isn’t just the day before Ash Wednesday. Some cultures use the term to represent an entire period, a couple of days or even a few weeks.
In Ireland and the United Kingdom, the day is called Shrove Tuesday. In Alabama, Mardi Gras begins in November and ends with a huge ass party that lasts up until Ash Wednesday. In South America, Mardi Gras begins at the end of Twelfth Night (the coming of the Epiphany). In Panama, Mardi Gras is a four-day holiday weekend upon which people are soaked with water hoses from trucks.
Many cultures mark the occasion with the eating of pancakes. Supposedly, in previous times, pancakes were considered one of the most fattening, gluttonous things a person could eat. People would eat the pancakes, indulging themselves on Fat Tuesday in order to prepare themselves for the solemnity and fasting of the Lent Season which begins on Ash Wednesday.
You didn’t know before, and now you do.
And if you hurry, head down to IHOP. Today is National Pancake Day, and they are giving away a free plate of pancakes.
Enjoy your life.
Just in case you didn’t know, Mardi Gras is celebrated in other places other than New Orleans and Rio de Janiero. It is also celebrated in many different ways. For some, Mardi Gras isn’t just the day before Ash Wednesday. Some cultures use the term to represent an entire period, a couple of days or even a few weeks.
In Ireland and the United Kingdom, the day is called Shrove Tuesday. In Alabama, Mardi Gras begins in November and ends with a huge ass party that lasts up until Ash Wednesday. In South America, Mardi Gras begins at the end of Twelfth Night (the coming of the Epiphany). In Panama, Mardi Gras is a four-day holiday weekend upon which people are soaked with water hoses from trucks.
Many cultures mark the occasion with the eating of pancakes. Supposedly, in previous times, pancakes were considered one of the most fattening, gluttonous things a person could eat. People would eat the pancakes, indulging themselves on Fat Tuesday in order to prepare themselves for the solemnity and fasting of the Lent Season which begins on Ash Wednesday.
You didn’t know before, and now you do.
And if you hurry, head down to IHOP. Today is National Pancake Day, and they are giving away a free plate of pancakes.
Enjoy your life.
Daily News February 16
Today is Shrove Tuesday, February 16, 2010. It is the 47th day of the year with 318 to go.
Today’s History
In 1959, Fidel Castro became the premier of Cuba.
In 1968, the nation’s first 911 system was inaugurated in Alabama.
Today’s News
Huked On Phonics Werked For Me
If you have a hard time spelling and proofreading, maybe you shouldn’t consider a job where spelling is critical. The country of Chile has fired the director of its mint because he apparently has difficulty spelling the name of his own country. The director is responsible for sending thousands of coins into circulation that said CHIIE instead of CHILE. Officials state that coins with the country’s name spelled incorrectly is an embarrassment and gives the mint a bad reputation. The coins are still in circulation, and they will be honoured at their face value. Numismatists have started collecting the coins because they feel they are rare.
That’s pretty sad. You don’t know how to spell your own country’s name? There’s only FIVE letters in Chile. What if the U.S. Mint sent out coins that read United Stats of America?
Desperate Times…
A 73 year old Florida man has been arrested for robbing three banks in the Tampa area. During each bank robbery, the man managed to get $600 without using a weapon. He would enter the bank and hand the teller a note, requesting $600. Most bank policies state that the teller should give up the money in case the suspect is armed. None of the tellers knew that the man was not armed. When the man was captured, he stated that he intended to repay the money back. He said he needed the cash to pay his mortgage.
…call for desperate measures. He only asked for $600 each time he robbed the bank? At least he wasn’t greedy. He asked for just enough to pay his bills and get on with life. These days, you gotta do what you gotta do. I’m mad that he’s 73 years old though, robbing banks. Luckily, he didn’t have to make a break for it.
Having a Blast
A 62 year old Michigan man is in hospital with severe burns after he strapped a homemade rocket to his back. The man was having his annual sledding party at his home and decided to construct a rocket made of a motorcycle muffler and pipe. He was clearly inebriated when he strapped the rocket to his back and jumped on a sled. The rocket was packed with gunpowder, match heads and gasoline. He asked a friend to light the contraption and as he was sliding down a snowy embankment, the device exploded. The man has second degree burns to his face and will probably face criminal charges.
Okay, so this guy is 62 years old, obviously a grown man, not some dumb teenager (just a dumb old man). If he thought it was safe to strap gasoline, gunpowder and some match heads to his back, then let him. What criminal charges are they bringing: sheer stupidity while intoxicated? It’s lucky that no one else was injured and it’s also lucky he didn’t blow himself up. I would have paid good money to see this. I hope someone caught this on tape. I’ll be looking forward to the straight-to-Youtube release.
Can We Say Malpractice?
A Czech woman will be suing her doctor’s office after she finally discovered the cause of her stomach pain. The woman had gynecological surgery in September, but afterwards she continually complained of intense pain in her abdomen. Every time she went back to the doctor to find out what the problem was, they told her it was just minor complications of the surgery and that soon the pain would go away. The woman finally went to another doctor who discovered a foot long surgical instrument left in her stomach. The surgical instrument is approximately 12 inches in length and resembles a spatula. The clinic that she had originally went to said a series of individual mistakes was the reason no one noticed that she had a spatula in her stomach. The clinic has punished the doctors responsible and will compensate the woman.
Yeah, that’s a big lawsuit. I’m truly annoyed that she walked around with a spatula in her stomach all these months. Every time she went to complain, they kept telling her, “Oh, it’s nothing.” To me, it’s like they knew but they didn’t want to admit to their mistake. What if she never went to another doctor? How long did they think she was going to walk around with a spatula in her stomach? This is precisely the reason why I don’t deal with doctors. Incompetence! And what do they mean the doctors were punished? I hope they mean FIRED.
Today’s Thought
There are two ways to slice easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. –Alfred Korzybski
Today’s History
In 1959, Fidel Castro became the premier of Cuba.
In 1968, the nation’s first 911 system was inaugurated in Alabama.
Today’s News
Huked On Phonics Werked For Me
If you have a hard time spelling and proofreading, maybe you shouldn’t consider a job where spelling is critical. The country of Chile has fired the director of its mint because he apparently has difficulty spelling the name of his own country. The director is responsible for sending thousands of coins into circulation that said CHIIE instead of CHILE. Officials state that coins with the country’s name spelled incorrectly is an embarrassment and gives the mint a bad reputation. The coins are still in circulation, and they will be honoured at their face value. Numismatists have started collecting the coins because they feel they are rare.
That’s pretty sad. You don’t know how to spell your own country’s name? There’s only FIVE letters in Chile. What if the U.S. Mint sent out coins that read United Stats of America?
Desperate Times…
A 73 year old Florida man has been arrested for robbing three banks in the Tampa area. During each bank robbery, the man managed to get $600 without using a weapon. He would enter the bank and hand the teller a note, requesting $600. Most bank policies state that the teller should give up the money in case the suspect is armed. None of the tellers knew that the man was not armed. When the man was captured, he stated that he intended to repay the money back. He said he needed the cash to pay his mortgage.
…call for desperate measures. He only asked for $600 each time he robbed the bank? At least he wasn’t greedy. He asked for just enough to pay his bills and get on with life. These days, you gotta do what you gotta do. I’m mad that he’s 73 years old though, robbing banks. Luckily, he didn’t have to make a break for it.
Having a Blast
A 62 year old Michigan man is in hospital with severe burns after he strapped a homemade rocket to his back. The man was having his annual sledding party at his home and decided to construct a rocket made of a motorcycle muffler and pipe. He was clearly inebriated when he strapped the rocket to his back and jumped on a sled. The rocket was packed with gunpowder, match heads and gasoline. He asked a friend to light the contraption and as he was sliding down a snowy embankment, the device exploded. The man has second degree burns to his face and will probably face criminal charges.
Okay, so this guy is 62 years old, obviously a grown man, not some dumb teenager (just a dumb old man). If he thought it was safe to strap gasoline, gunpowder and some match heads to his back, then let him. What criminal charges are they bringing: sheer stupidity while intoxicated? It’s lucky that no one else was injured and it’s also lucky he didn’t blow himself up. I would have paid good money to see this. I hope someone caught this on tape. I’ll be looking forward to the straight-to-Youtube release.
Can We Say Malpractice?
A Czech woman will be suing her doctor’s office after she finally discovered the cause of her stomach pain. The woman had gynecological surgery in September, but afterwards she continually complained of intense pain in her abdomen. Every time she went back to the doctor to find out what the problem was, they told her it was just minor complications of the surgery and that soon the pain would go away. The woman finally went to another doctor who discovered a foot long surgical instrument left in her stomach. The surgical instrument is approximately 12 inches in length and resembles a spatula. The clinic that she had originally went to said a series of individual mistakes was the reason no one noticed that she had a spatula in her stomach. The clinic has punished the doctors responsible and will compensate the woman.
Yeah, that’s a big lawsuit. I’m truly annoyed that she walked around with a spatula in her stomach all these months. Every time she went to complain, they kept telling her, “Oh, it’s nothing.” To me, it’s like they knew but they didn’t want to admit to their mistake. What if she never went to another doctor? How long did they think she was going to walk around with a spatula in her stomach? This is precisely the reason why I don’t deal with doctors. Incompetence! And what do they mean the doctors were punished? I hope they mean FIRED.
Today’s Thought
There are two ways to slice easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. –Alfred Korzybski
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Snowmaggedon #4: Snow To Hell
Well, here we are on day…. uhm… I don’t even know what day this is since it started snowing like it’s the Day After Tomorrow.
I got off work last Friday at 200PM and I haven’t been back since. I was prepared for a dry weekend of staying in the house with Star Trek, Ugly Betty and Law & Order marathons, but this is like day five of doing absolutely nothing.
For Snowmaggedon (the Capital Weather Gang has started naming the storms so we can keep track) I stayed home. I laid up to the Super Bowl. I was planning on a party but after three hours of non-stop shovelling Sunday morning, I called it quits. I took a hot bath and crashed on the couch for the rest of the evening. I kind of knew there wouldn’t be any work on Monday because the plow crews have a lot on their hands trying to figure out what to do with 30 inches of snow. Where are they going to put all that mess?
I kind of stopped paying attention to the weather for a few minutes because I thought it was over and then I caught a glimpse of the weather report for this week. What the hell do you mean more snow? When I came out of the house on Sunday morning after Mother Nature had stopped shaking her dandruff, I almost couldn’t believe it. It’s like a bad joke. This cannot be real. I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out of a snow bank and yell “you’ve been snowed!” Hahah. And they are saying more snow? Then I assumed it was going to be like 3-5 inches, something like that. A casual snow. Snow kidding, they said 6-16 inches depending on the area. Yeah the fuck right.
Monday, I packed up shop, hit the market again and headed over to my friend SF’s house. I figured that at some point this week I would be going to work and her neighbourhood gets plowed whereas my neighbourhood doesn’t. I live at the bottom of the hill and the accumulating snow has drifted downwards, making it very dangerous for my woogie old Hyundai to navigate. Not to mention with 30 inches of snow and three cars in the driveway, there’s just way too much going on.
They cancelled work for Tuesday and Wednesday. Here it is Wednesday afternoon and we are seriously getting cabin fever. I am grateful to be over her house, with someone to talk to for a little while instead of listening to the sound of my own thoughts rattling around in my head, but this is getting to be a little much. Capital Weather Gang has named this new storm Snoverkill. Yeah, seriously. We got about 10 inches out of this, but the conditions are deplorable. High winds, downed trees, downed power lines, frigid temperatures, ice everywhere. It is definitely unsafe.
Luckily the power has stayed on and we have a few things to eat but eventually we will run out. The snow is expected to cease tonight, but cleanup on Thursday? Will I need to work tomorrow? Ugh. I will have to shovel myself out from here, then head home and shovel myself out from other there. I’m thinking about chalking up this entire week as a loss because really, what work will I get done this week if I go tomorrow or Friday? Not a goddamn thing.
But guess what? They said more snow this weekend! Weather Channel posted a 60 per cent chance of snow for Saturday through Monday. They haven’t come in with any expected totals but just the mere thought… I’m moving to Australia.
SNO… M… F… G. Snow over it.
I got off work last Friday at 200PM and I haven’t been back since. I was prepared for a dry weekend of staying in the house with Star Trek, Ugly Betty and Law & Order marathons, but this is like day five of doing absolutely nothing.
For Snowmaggedon (the Capital Weather Gang has started naming the storms so we can keep track) I stayed home. I laid up to the Super Bowl. I was planning on a party but after three hours of non-stop shovelling Sunday morning, I called it quits. I took a hot bath and crashed on the couch for the rest of the evening. I kind of knew there wouldn’t be any work on Monday because the plow crews have a lot on their hands trying to figure out what to do with 30 inches of snow. Where are they going to put all that mess?
I kind of stopped paying attention to the weather for a few minutes because I thought it was over and then I caught a glimpse of the weather report for this week. What the hell do you mean more snow? When I came out of the house on Sunday morning after Mother Nature had stopped shaking her dandruff, I almost couldn’t believe it. It’s like a bad joke. This cannot be real. I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out of a snow bank and yell “you’ve been snowed!” Hahah. And they are saying more snow? Then I assumed it was going to be like 3-5 inches, something like that. A casual snow. Snow kidding, they said 6-16 inches depending on the area. Yeah the fuck right.
Monday, I packed up shop, hit the market again and headed over to my friend SF’s house. I figured that at some point this week I would be going to work and her neighbourhood gets plowed whereas my neighbourhood doesn’t. I live at the bottom of the hill and the accumulating snow has drifted downwards, making it very dangerous for my woogie old Hyundai to navigate. Not to mention with 30 inches of snow and three cars in the driveway, there’s just way too much going on.
They cancelled work for Tuesday and Wednesday. Here it is Wednesday afternoon and we are seriously getting cabin fever. I am grateful to be over her house, with someone to talk to for a little while instead of listening to the sound of my own thoughts rattling around in my head, but this is getting to be a little much. Capital Weather Gang has named this new storm Snoverkill. Yeah, seriously. We got about 10 inches out of this, but the conditions are deplorable. High winds, downed trees, downed power lines, frigid temperatures, ice everywhere. It is definitely unsafe.
Luckily the power has stayed on and we have a few things to eat but eventually we will run out. The snow is expected to cease tonight, but cleanup on Thursday? Will I need to work tomorrow? Ugh. I will have to shovel myself out from here, then head home and shovel myself out from other there. I’m thinking about chalking up this entire week as a loss because really, what work will I get done this week if I go tomorrow or Friday? Not a goddamn thing.
But guess what? They said more snow this weekend! Weather Channel posted a 60 per cent chance of snow for Saturday through Monday. They haven’t come in with any expected totals but just the mere thought… I’m moving to Australia.
SNO… M… F… G. Snow over it.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Snowmaggedon #3: Snowbound!
I got home around 3PM after running a few errands after work. I went to Blockbuster first, and didn't find anything I wanted so there was nothing to make me wait in the monstrous line that was wrapped around the store. The clerk said it had been a madhouse in the video store since the day before. Next I headed over to the bank to get the rent money and some ice cream from Baskin Robbins next door. The bank had closed early and people were very irritated to say the least. Luckily, I can get what I need from the ATM. The ice cream store was also set to close down in an hour or so. The lady told me they would close after they sold the last doughnut on the shelf. Lastly, I went to Giant. It wasn't that bad. I only went in there because I was being greedy. I had already done most of my grocery shopping two days prior.
I ate dinner and took a long nap until around 10PM, then got up to start shovelling. My steps descend into a bowl-like area that would quickly fill up if I don't take care of it. The last time I waited too long and the snow barricaded against the door and then froze, making it extremely difficult to get out of the house. I shovelled at 11PM, midnight and 130 in the morning. The snow was coming down so rapidly that it was like... what's the point, but then again, as I already explained. I got up at 7AM because my neighbours woke up like they were on their way somewhere. They seemed to be rushing around. Hate to say it, guys, but there's about 16 inches of snow on the ground and they do NOT plow my street. We're not going anywhere.
I shovelled the back steps once again and then started on making a pathway to the front of the house. That's really important because the snow fall is about waist high and then the drifts are putting the levels around my head. Seriously. I waded out to the front and stood on the quiet street for a little while. It is amazing how the earth just comes to a stand still when it's snowing like this. Very peaceful. Except for the potential danger of power outages and freezing to death, I can't imagine why people don't like this. I guess it's that fast paced world we live in. People need to feel like they can get somewhere. They want to rush around, instead of just taking this moment to enjoy it. We don't have to be at work. We don't have to rush to the bank, pay bills, run here or there. We can sit in our cosy little homes, enjoy our family, eat, sleep, chill, whatever. I enjoy these times.
Once this stuff starts melting, well, it's back to business and no more opportunities to just slow down. I feel sorry for people who feel like this is all a big inconvenience. I do realise that some people have to work no matter what. When I was enslaved at TSA, I had to get to work no matter what conditions, and even then I didn't mind it. I just got up extra early, packed a hearty lunch and took my time getting there. No rush. Let me enjoy the scenery. Plenty of time for craziness once I actually got in the building.
But now, I can truly enjoy what Mother Nature has to offer. Look how beautiful it is.
I'm done shovelling for right now. I'll go back out later on this afternoon and work on the driveway, but for now, I'm enjoying a little Enya and some pancakes. Then I'll settle in for a movie and mid-morning nap. Life don't get any better than this.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I ate dinner and took a long nap until around 10PM, then got up to start shovelling. My steps descend into a bowl-like area that would quickly fill up if I don't take care of it. The last time I waited too long and the snow barricaded against the door and then froze, making it extremely difficult to get out of the house. I shovelled at 11PM, midnight and 130 in the morning. The snow was coming down so rapidly that it was like... what's the point, but then again, as I already explained. I got up at 7AM because my neighbours woke up like they were on their way somewhere. They seemed to be rushing around. Hate to say it, guys, but there's about 16 inches of snow on the ground and they do NOT plow my street. We're not going anywhere.
I shovelled the back steps once again and then started on making a pathway to the front of the house. That's really important because the snow fall is about waist high and then the drifts are putting the levels around my head. Seriously. I waded out to the front and stood on the quiet street for a little while. It is amazing how the earth just comes to a stand still when it's snowing like this. Very peaceful. Except for the potential danger of power outages and freezing to death, I can't imagine why people don't like this. I guess it's that fast paced world we live in. People need to feel like they can get somewhere. They want to rush around, instead of just taking this moment to enjoy it. We don't have to be at work. We don't have to rush to the bank, pay bills, run here or there. We can sit in our cosy little homes, enjoy our family, eat, sleep, chill, whatever. I enjoy these times.
Once this stuff starts melting, well, it's back to business and no more opportunities to just slow down. I feel sorry for people who feel like this is all a big inconvenience. I do realise that some people have to work no matter what. When I was enslaved at TSA, I had to get to work no matter what conditions, and even then I didn't mind it. I just got up extra early, packed a hearty lunch and took my time getting there. No rush. Let me enjoy the scenery. Plenty of time for craziness once I actually got in the building.
But now, I can truly enjoy what Mother Nature has to offer. Look how beautiful it is.
I'm done shovelling for right now. I'll go back out later on this afternoon and work on the driveway, but for now, I'm enjoying a little Enya and some pancakes. Then I'll settle in for a movie and mid-morning nap. Life don't get any better than this.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Snowmaggedon #2: The Futile Search
Yesterday I braved the wilds to forage for food at the local Wal-Mart only to be beaten by the ravaging pack of wolves that had been unleashed on their lunch breaks. The shelves were picked bare, leaving behind only one lone bowl of Dinty More (the soup that eats like a meal) and a few packages of Oriental flavoured Ramen noodles. I chronicled how I was humiliated beyond belief when I dared to ask the clerk if there were anymore snow shovels. He offered me a garden shovel, but he was laughing so hard that I just walked away.
When I got off work last night, I went to the dentist so I didn’t have time to skulk around the hardware stores looking for a shovel. I woke up bright and early to get in to the job and out in all possible haste. I despaired because we only have one shovel at the house, and really it just makes more sense to have two when you have multiple occupants. No way do I want to be breaking my back while someone else lords over me.
I got to work at 5AM and I immediately begin hounding all of the hardware homepages (Lowe’s, Home Depot, Ace Hardware). Lowe’s flat out tells me, “WE AIN’T GO NO MORE SHOVELS.” There website says “sold out” at all the Lowe’s within a 200 mile radius. Forget them. Home Depot doesn’t even list shovels on their page at all. Every time I tried to search, I came up with an error. Do they or do they not sell shovels? Who even knows. Ace Hardware says they have shovels, but they can’t tell them which stores are in stock. At 655, I go out to my car with all these phone numbers to stores in the area. I don’t want to waste precious time driving from one end of the city to the other looking for a shovel.
I called Ace first since they were closest. “Good morning, I have an insane question.”
“I’m sorry we are out of shovels, salt, snow blowers and anything even remotely related to winter.”
“Thank you and have a good day.”
I tried to call Home Depot but they “aren’t open” even though it is now after 7AM. Target doesn’t open until 8, so I might as well just drive down to Home Depot to waste some time and then check out Harbour Freight and Target on the way back to the job. I get to Home Depot and as I’m parking, I see several people coming out of the store with shovels. LUCK!
I rush inside the store. “Where are the shovels?”
The bored salesclerk says, “Right there.”
They didn’t even bother taking them out of their shipping boxes. They just dumped the palettes onto the floor, and it was like a free for all. Anybody would have thought they were giving away gold ingots. I grab one, but of course, I’m an idiot because I want to examine the quality of the shovel. Is it ergonomically correct? How will this fit in my hand? Let me give it a few practise digs before I take it home. As if I have other options!
Once again, there were people going completely overboard. Now, I know this is America and we’re all capitalist or whatever, and maybe we need to stimulate the economy somehow, but do you really need EIGHT shovels. Seriously. There was a woman who had eight shovels in her basket. Her husband had three in his. I’m sure they were going to sell them. I don’t believe that they were “getting them for someone else,” as the woman apologetically explained to the cashier in front of me. Yeah right.
Anyway, I’m glad I got one and it didn’t take too much effort. I head out to the car and there’s a guy parking right next to me. He sees the shovel in my hand. “I hope there’s some more,” he said desperately.
You better hurry up, buddy.
I bet they’ll be sold out of shovels by 815.
This is dedicated to Felecia who told me that Home Depot and Lowe’s gets a delivery truck every Tuesday and Thursday night.
When I got off work last night, I went to the dentist so I didn’t have time to skulk around the hardware stores looking for a shovel. I woke up bright and early to get in to the job and out in all possible haste. I despaired because we only have one shovel at the house, and really it just makes more sense to have two when you have multiple occupants. No way do I want to be breaking my back while someone else lords over me.
I got to work at 5AM and I immediately begin hounding all of the hardware homepages (Lowe’s, Home Depot, Ace Hardware). Lowe’s flat out tells me, “WE AIN’T GO NO MORE SHOVELS.” There website says “sold out” at all the Lowe’s within a 200 mile radius. Forget them. Home Depot doesn’t even list shovels on their page at all. Every time I tried to search, I came up with an error. Do they or do they not sell shovels? Who even knows. Ace Hardware says they have shovels, but they can’t tell them which stores are in stock. At 655, I go out to my car with all these phone numbers to stores in the area. I don’t want to waste precious time driving from one end of the city to the other looking for a shovel.
I called Ace first since they were closest. “Good morning, I have an insane question.”
“I’m sorry we are out of shovels, salt, snow blowers and anything even remotely related to winter.”
“Thank you and have a good day.”
I tried to call Home Depot but they “aren’t open” even though it is now after 7AM. Target doesn’t open until 8, so I might as well just drive down to Home Depot to waste some time and then check out Harbour Freight and Target on the way back to the job. I get to Home Depot and as I’m parking, I see several people coming out of the store with shovels. LUCK!
I rush inside the store. “Where are the shovels?”
The bored salesclerk says, “Right there.”
They didn’t even bother taking them out of their shipping boxes. They just dumped the palettes onto the floor, and it was like a free for all. Anybody would have thought they were giving away gold ingots. I grab one, but of course, I’m an idiot because I want to examine the quality of the shovel. Is it ergonomically correct? How will this fit in my hand? Let me give it a few practise digs before I take it home. As if I have other options!
Once again, there were people going completely overboard. Now, I know this is America and we’re all capitalist or whatever, and maybe we need to stimulate the economy somehow, but do you really need EIGHT shovels. Seriously. There was a woman who had eight shovels in her basket. Her husband had three in his. I’m sure they were going to sell them. I don’t believe that they were “getting them for someone else,” as the woman apologetically explained to the cashier in front of me. Yeah right.
Anyway, I’m glad I got one and it didn’t take too much effort. I head out to the car and there’s a guy parking right next to me. He sees the shovel in my hand. “I hope there’s some more,” he said desperately.
You better hurry up, buddy.
I bet they’ll be sold out of shovels by 815.
This is dedicated to Felecia who told me that Home Depot and Lowe’s gets a delivery truck every Tuesday and Thursday night.
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